The Cursed Island
Australia must be cursed. It is the only possible explanation. Over the last few years, there has been a huge fatality count. Floods, earthquakes, fires, tornados. In one small bay? Do they practice voodoo or commit heresy?
There's an annual flood, which always kills someone who has featured heavily in recent developments. Isn't that strange? Another thing, the victim always dies a heroic death, saving another life. Just as they die, someone comes along, wanting to save the victim. Oh look, they're too late, and spend the next 3 episodes feeling guilty. Back to the cemetry.
Even though Australia's always having bush fires, you never seem to see them mentioned. Maybe they should reveal their secret to the Oz government, saving animal and human lives. I don't think I've ever seen a natural fire in Summer Bay or Ramsey Street. Weird, huh? There was a fire (first for a few years), but that was due to negligance of a cooker, so the café got burned down. No one was even slightly hurt. Weird, huh?
The funeral director must have such a comfy living. He's probably been investigation by the audit investigators until they see his cemetry. The next body will have to be refused, the cemetry is full up.
However, it's not all doom and gloom for Australia, three very good words that apply to Ozzylanders - girls, beaches, Castlemaine XXX.
But we get so much of it in the soaps, I'm sure it's just an indoor set. How come it's rarely night? Are they anti-vampires? I can't provide these answers, maybe someone else can.
A good place to start is 24,000 miles away . . .