Uncle Bill and the conquest of the world
And behold, in the twilight years of the early eighties Bill the godfather surveyed the land of computing arrayed before him and he spoke thus saying :-
"640k should be enough for anyone."
And the masses heard him and believed, for in those early days the world of computing was dawning and they, having barely migrated from their BBC micros knew that you could get a decent Wordprocessor into a 64k EPROM, with a 20,000 word dictionary to boot.
And Bill surveyed the potential before him, and he saw a PC in every house and a PC in every office and potential memory problems everywhere, and he spoke to his managers and programmers and other staff saying,
"Let there be DOS."
And lo, there was DOS, and it was a sack of cack, but it worked and the people were appeased briefly before they started complaining about things they couldn't do that they wanted to. So Bill in his wisdom looked upon his disciples and spoke unto them saying,
"Let there be upgrades."
And there were upgrades and DOS progressed towards some semblance of usefulness, and Bill realised that there was a lot more money where this was coming from, and he received a vision from the future foretelling the fortunes that would be his, and in the visions he saw the holy version numbers and they were 6.21 and 3.1 respectively.
The second number's great meaning was lost on Bill for he understood not the way of windoz, but DOS he understood and it progressed apace until the people yelled,
"When are you going to get it right?" and
"Why do we have to keep reconfiguring our memory settings?"
And Bill was troubled, for the people were loosing confidence in his Silicon touch, but he gazed unto the Mac and it's icons and its pointers and he said unto himself,
"I can market that too."
And lo, windoz was born into the world, and on it's holy ascension three people came bearing gifts unto Bill, the father and SoftMicro the mother,
The first he presented memory to the babe, for it looked hungry and yearned for knowledge and space to grow in a leech-like fashion.
The second presented speed to the babe, so it could corrupt it and remove it wherever he encountered it.
The third presented the user base of the PC world to the babe, so it might flourish and infest every PC in the world, better than any virus could dream of.
And windoz grew and spread across the world - and soon every PC in every corner of every country was corrupted by it's touch.
The PC community flourished and spread taking the taint of windoz with it everywhere, and everywhere about Bill watched rivals flounder in the wake of Windoz;
PC-DOS was swept away in a flurry, OZ/2 attempted to make itself heard, but the world ignored it, other great potential rivals were also swept away or ignored for Bill had implanted hypnotic suggestions into Windoz cunningly disguised as screen savers which drew people back to Windoz along with the deceptively addictive 'Minesweeper' game.
But the market was saturated, and still people resisted windoz and continued to use DOS. But bill had a plan;
'All the companies now manufacture programs for windoz, if I can remove DOS and incorporate it into windoz then my conquest will be complete - no more DOS just glorious windoz everywhere.'
And so windoz 1984 was born, big brother Bill was watching and ready to strike down the world, for the screen savers had been reprogrammed for the final phase of his plan. Once the world had accepted windoz 1984 into their PC's and their lives there would be no going back;
Secret windoz instructions would automatically delete any rival programs and on the 1st of January 2000 Bill would strike; all the screen savers were programmed to connect automatically and broadcast their final chilling hypnotic message that the, by now, thoroughly indoctrinated PC owners would be powerless to resist :-
"BILL FOR PRESIDENT, EL PRESIDENTI BILL, DAS BILL IST GUT, BILL C'EST TON AMIE..."
With his presidency secured in every country he would abolish the use of any machine other than PC running windoz 1984 and the world would be his at last.
DISCLAIMER :
Any similarity between any of the characters portrayed on this page and any living or dead is purely intentional.
All the views contained on this page are my own - be they downright strange and unfeasible. In the event of court action I will plead insanity - you have been warned.
Back to the intro page.
Back to the secret society page.