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Acme Micro$oft Announcement Form

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Yes! You too can now customise and construct your own Micro$oft announcements, fool your friends, impress your family, get your own lawsuit! All this and more is now possible from the comfort of your own home! Just select the desired responses from the boxes below to create your own authentic Micro$oft announcement...

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MICRO$OFT ANNOUNCES NEW SOFTWARE BREAKTHROUGH TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION DUBIOUS UNDERWORLD CONNECTIONS ALIENS RESPONSIBLE FOR BUGS BILL TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT WINDOZE TO RUN FOR PRESIDENT INVASION OF GULF STATE 90% GOVERMENT SHAREHOLDING

REDMOND, WASHINGTON -- In a unpresidented show of generosity effort to spare users confusion move to dominate the world market swift military strike attempt to control the minds of world leaders bid to control the world supply of spam push to legalise Windoze for the under 5's , Micro$oft today announced that future versions of MS-DOS Windoze 95 Micro$oft Office Home computers Micro$oft coffee Pong The Times would feature a require a automatically delete any be powered by a be allergic to never be compatible with any new help feature disk management system memory upgrade software installed can of spam cat llama during installation normal run-time power-off any random event any mouse movement any non M$ software use any daylight hour any day with a 'Y' in it .
"We know ease of use is important all users are peasants no-one knows our software works a 4 year old could do better everyone hates our software everyone prefers using Macs the price of spam is rising the miltia has been alerted , and this is why we included this feature this will sell as we paid millions in marketing Bill stands to make another billion cans aren't as cheap as they used to be Virgo is rising and Venus is in ascention everyone prefers using Macs the price of spam is rising the miltia has been alerted so we can ease the life of the users don't care will be holidaying in Egypt will be buying shares in Beef are hiding in our bomb shelters are taking the high road will be buying Macs instead eating fresh turnips said a Micro$oft spokesperson programmer informant mole masons member redneck alien penguin who requested that this information be circulated to remain anonymous another cup of coffee another pay-rise a differant job a can of spam the fresh brain of a victim "Singin' in the rain" .

Industy analysts World leaders Rival companies The population of China Eight cans of spam A colony of penguins were quick slow happy enraged delighted tickled pink to praise condem laugh at poke fun at buy war bonds for produce photocopies of the decision, calling it "A great idea!" "The best thing since sliced bread!" "A complete joke!" "A pathetic spam substitute!" "Another corporate blunder!" "Silly thing." "A Useless toaster substitute." "New, interesting marsupial." "Potentially profitable decision." .

When asked when the new software product foodstuff lampshade weapons rotating wibbles pop-tarts promotion video would be ready, a Micro$oft spokesperson passing wombat rival corporate prerecorded video high ranking commander stuffed penguin inflatable sheep said "Within this quarter." "When we can be bothered to finish it." "Sometime this decade." "Pass the mango-chutney." "I didn't do it - I was framed!" "Ni!" "I blame the foreigners." "During the next solar eclipse."

Most users seitient beings termites rival companies film stars marsupials seem to be convinced by sceptical about dubious about ecstatic about in fits of laughter over hopeful about the statement and intend to purchase it intend to eat it hope to market it themselves require that a hat be worn would never be seen dead with it intend to hide .

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DISCLAIMER :
The voices made me do it.

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