HUMOR

 

    lAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE   

(thanks to Patch Adams that is)

 

BILLY's maternal grandmother had just come for a visit , and he was ecstatic. "Now daddy can do his trick!" yelled Billy with glee. "What trick is that?" Grandma asked. "Well," answered Billy, "Daddy said that if you stayed for a whole week, he'd climb the walls. I never saw anyone do that before."

AN ATTRACTIVE young woman was sitting alone at a bar. "Excuse me, may I buy you a drink?" asked a young man. "To a motel ?" she yelled. "No, no. You misunderstood. I just asked you if I could buy you a drink."   "You're asking me to go to a motel?" she screamed, even more excited.  Completely bewildered, the young man withdrew to a corner. Everybody stared at him indignantly. A little later, the young women came to his table. "I'm sorry to have created such a scene, " she said. "But I'm a psychology student studying human behavior in unexpected situations."       The young man looked at her and shouted, "What? A hundred dollars?!"

A MAN, toolbox in hand, rang the doorbell. A woman answered.         "Good morning, I've come to fix the pipe. I'm the plumber."       "But I didn't call a plumber."       "What? Aren't you Mrs. Foster?"          "No. She moved away a year ago."    "How do you like that ? They ask for a plumber, claiming it's an emergency , and then they move."

 AFTER examining a woman and finding her in need of immediate hospitalization, I told her husband that I would send  an ambulance for her. Several hours later the hospital admitting clerk phoned to say that the husband  had arrived in the ambulance - without his wife. Puzzled I asked to speak with him. "Didn't you understand that the ambulance was sent for your wife?" I asked sternly. "Well, where is she?"       "We had an argument," he answered bleakly, "and she took the bus."   -   Nathan Flaxman, M.D.,in Medical Economics.
AN impatient dowager pushed the button, then fumed when the hotel elevator did not arrive immediately. "Where have you been?!" she snapped at the operator. Back came the sensible reply : "Where can you go in an elevator?" LETTERED on the side of a Bell Telephone truck in New York City was the message : "Ask Me About Better Telephone Service." Someone had scrawled in the dust below: "I don't talk to no truck."
MY husband is always chiding me about my extravagant purchases, so I was not surprise at his attitude when I told him I had bought an expensive tree for my parents' wedding anniversary. "But," I explained, "the three is six years old." At this point he exploded: "You mean you spent all that money on a used tree?!" - Philipa MY wife can get very tricky on an autumn afternoon. The other day, she came up to me and said, "There's one thing I want to make perfectly clear." I said, "What's that?"   She said, "The lawn," and handed me a rake. - Robert Orben.

 

*Click 'OK' if you wanna contribute some new jokes to this site........ 

 

 

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