System Administer Tools Your Vendor Never Told You About; Revisited
By Mike Nemeth
<mjnemeth@hotmail.com>
Elizabeth Zwicky articles starting in ;Login: July/August 1993,
have provided me with some invaluable "tools" for keeping
my sanity as a System Administrator. My "Squeaky Dragon" has
amused (and puzzled) users seeking service. Some gleefully
squeak Buford (that's his name) and others are not sure what to
do when they see the sign "Squeeze Dragon for Service!
My Jibberjaber, Biff (he IS a dog), has provided me with
needed stress relief. Sometimes you need to throttle something!
Co workers (fellow SAs and users) ask to borrow him; a few
even get the joke about his name. I once bought two dozen
when Jibberjaber were available (does any one know where I get more?).
All but a few were immediately placed in good homes in the
large SA group that I was currently working with!
Now it is my turn to provide some invaluable SA "tools" which
I found useful over the years.
Users seem to always have a strong opinion on how the system
should be managed or used or what the SAs should do; the
list seems to be never ending! Well, I have a large plastic jar
with a slot in the lid. It is labeled "Put Your 2 cents in!".
When a user started to "vent" his opinions, I point at the
jar. After a while I do not even need to point anymore
but ca hear "clink clink" and turn to find a smiling user.
Now ever once in a blue moon. a user DOES have a good idea.
When this occurs I turn the jar around; this side is labeled
"A Penny for your Thoughts!" and tell the user to take one!
Stress relief is essential! Here are instructions for putting
together your own stress relief kit. Take standard 8 1/2 by 11
sheet of plain white paper and title it at the very top in
Large letters: "ANTI-STRESS KIT".
Just below this draw a large circle; it should almost touch the
top title and the sides. Just below the circle, in large letters,
insert Label: DIRECTIONS
Add the direction as follows:
1) Place on FIRM surface
2) Follow directions provided in the circle on front of kit
3) Repeat until you are anti-stressed. or become unconscious
Now in LARGE letters in the center on the circle put the following:
BANG
HEAD
HERE
The next tool is not as funny as it first sounds, a rear view mirror
for you workstation or terminal! How many times have you near
jumped out of you seat (stress remember?) when someone quietly walked
up behind you and spoke!
There are many other "tools" that I'll save for another time
like hats (how many do you wear? SA, CM, CNN ...).