Ancianos

Because her new husband is so old the woman decides that on their wedding night they should have separate suites so that the old fellow not over exert himself.
After the festivities she prepares herself for bed and for the knock on the door she is expecting - sure enough the knock comes and there is her groom ready for action - they unite in conjugal union and all goes well whereupon he takes his leave of her and she prepares to go to sleep for the night.
After a few minutes there's a knock on the door and there the old guy is again ready for more action - somewhat surprised she consents to further coupling which is again successful after which the octogenarian bids her a fond good night and leaves.
She is certainly ready for slumber at this point and is close to sleep for the second time when there is another knock at the door and there he is again fresh as a 25 year old and ready for more - once again they do the horizontal boogie.
As they are laying in afterglow the young bride says to him
- "I am really impressed that a guy your age has enough juice to go for it three times, I've been with guys less than half your age who were only good for one"
The old guy looks puzzled and turns to her and says
- "Was I already here?"

A very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75^th wedding anniversary. The old man leans forward and says softly to his wife,
- "Dear, there is something that I must ask you. It has always bothered me that our tenth child never quite looked like the rest of our children. Now I want to assure you that these 75 years have been the most wonderful experience I could have ever hoped for, and your answer can not take that all that away. But,...I must know, did he have a different father?"
The wife drops her head, unable to look her husband in the eye. She pauses for moment and then confesses...
- "Yes. Yes he did."
The old man is very shaken, the reality of what his wife was admitting hitting him harder than he had expected. With a tear in his eye he asks,
- "Who?...Who was he? Who was the father?"
Again the old woman drops her head, saying nothing at first as she tries to muster the courage to tell the truth to her husband. Then, finally, she says...
- "You".

A ninety-year-old man is sitting on a park bench, sobbing, when a young man walks by and asks him what's wrong. Through his tears the old man answers:
- "I'm in love with a twenty-five-year-old woman."
- "What's wrong with that?" asks the young man.
Between his sobs and sniffles, he answers,
- "You don't understand. Every morning before she goes to work, we make love. At lunchtime, she comes home and we make love again, and then she makes my favorite meal. And then at suppertime, and all night long, we make love."
He breaks down, no longer able to speak. The young man puts his arm around him.
- "I don't understand. It sounds like you have the perfect relationship. Why are you crying?"
The senile old man answers, again through his tears,
- "I forgot where I live."

Un viejito y una viejita estan todos aburridos en la casa cuando la viejita le dice al viejito:
- Mira, tu crees que tu todavia puedas?
- Bueno, podria tratarlo...
Y se meten en la cama y se preparan todos y empiezan la cosa. Cuando el viejito de momento hace:
- Uh, uh, uh, ah, ah, AAh, AAAh, AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
La viejita le dice:
- Te vinistes?
- No, me cague!

A very elderly, half-deaf man, living with his wife was not very well and had to go to the doctors. Since he couldn't hear that well, he got his wife to take him. The doctor examined him and said to the old man that he will need a blood sample, a urine sample, a sperm sample and a fecal sample.The elderly man said to his wife loudly ,
- "WHAT'S THAT HE WANTS DEAR?"
The wife replied loudly so he could hear,
- "He wants your pajamas!"

An 80 year old man went for his annual check up and the doctor said,
- "Friend, for your age your in the best shape I've seen."
The old feller replied,
- "Yep. It comes from clean living. Why I know I live a good, clean, spritual life."
The doctor asked,
- "What makes you say that?"
The old man replied,
- "If I didn't live a good, clean life the Lord wouldn't turn the bathroom light on for me every time I get up in the middle of the night."
The doc was concerned.
- "You mean when you get up in the night to go to the bathroom, the Lord Himself turns on the light for you?"
- "Yep," the old man said,
- "Whenever I get up to go to the bathroom, the Lord turns the light on for me."
Well, the doctor didn't say anything else, but when the old man's wife came in for her check up, he felt he had to let her know what her husband said.
- "I just want you to know," the doctor said.
- "Your husband's in fine physical shape but I'm worried about his mental condition. He told me that every night when he gets up to go to the bathroom, the Lord turns the light on for him."
- "He what?" she cried.
- "He said every night when he gets up to go to the bathroom, the Lord turns the light on for him."
- "Aha!!!" she exclaimed.
- "So he's the one who's been peeing in the refrigerator!"

Recopilado por vvaldi.
Ultima actualización: 7/5/99