Computadoras

Six reasons computers must be female :
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference.
3. The native language used to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
4. The message, "Bad command or filename," is about as informative as "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you."
5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
6. As soon as you have one, a better one is just around the corner.

Five reasons to believe computers are male:
1. They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
2. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.
3. As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
5. Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.

- Hardware : Lo que puedes partir con un hacha.
- Software : Aquello que solo puedes maldecir.
- Bug: An elusive creature living in a program that makes it incorrect. The activity of "debugging," or removing bugs from a program, ends when people get tired of doing it, not when the bugs are removed.
- Information Center: A room staffed by professional computer people whose job it is to tell you why you cannot have the information you require.
- Performance: A statement of the speed at which a computer system works. Or rather, might work under certain circumstances. Or was rumored to be working over about a month ago.

La mujer de Bill Gates ha pedido la anulacion de su reciente matrimonio porque en la noche de bodas se entero de lo que "MICRO-SOFT" realmente significaba.

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when a malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to steer to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter's window. The pilot's sign said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters.
People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said :
- "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."
The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to the airport, and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the co-pilot asked the pilot what happened :
- "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped determine their position.
The pilot responded
- "I knew that had to be the MICROSOFT building because, similar to their help-lines, they gave me a technically correct but completely useless answer."

Recopilado por vvaldi.
Ultima actualización: 7/5/99