Wow. Today got up around 11, sent out some boxes, cashed some money orders, played counterstrike, played pictionary and we almost won i really believe i got psychic powers, and then played more counterstrike where i learned to duck and played decent. Damn, that was a run on. Anyways time to quote ice cube "today was a good day"

I have SELF-CONTROL. I was just thinking about that. Do you know what the happiest time of my life was. Last year. Living in the dorms. I could do anything i wanted, no one nit-picking at everything i did. No one nagging me about me leaving my stuff on a table. I dont think i was that happy since maybe elementary school. Let me tell you the story of my summer.

See i went to summer school. Well anyways, at that point i was still ok. Then i got home to find out that we were suddenly selling our house and that my aunt and her friends had decided to stay in america longer than expected. So i lived in my brothers room, with no closet, or anywhere to put my stuff. Of course i was yelled at to put my stuff away, but there was no where to put it since people were living in my room. I dont think i've unpacked some of my clothes yet. Anyways, i grew quite frustrated at not being able to go to my room since i am a night person and am up very late and everyone would be asleep. I could not get stuff i wanted. My parents would then tell me i was immature or something for not understanding the situation. They always say that, "Hans you have to understand that you cant do that even though your siblings/other people/ your cousins/etc do it." "Hans you have to understand that you are more responsible than them so you get bent over and screwed all the time to take care of everything" "Hans you have to understand that you are smart so that means you have to fix everything when all our relatives ask since everyone else is too lazy to do it". "Hans you have to understand that when your sister and brother were your age we couldn't get you the crap they have." No, i am not immature, i am frustrated at the unfairness of this. I know the world isn't fair. That doesnt mean the world isn't fucked up.

Anyways a little background info on why i'm so irrate today. Anyways every day of the week supposedly real estate brokers can come to our house with half an hour notice and this is from 10am to 5pm. So my mom has reiterated constantly this, and the fact that i dont usually get up until 10:30am. Well see i am justified because first off i dont give a fuck, and secondly no real estate broker has called to come before 2pm. So last friday a broker called and i answered the phone. Usually they leave messages that my mom likes to hear. So i talked to them and asked them to call back half an hour before they were coming and leave a message since i wasn't gonna be home (they called 2 hours before). Anyways, i tell my parents this , but they never called back and never came. Now they give me what is about a 2 hour lecture/torturing/mental pain session about how immature and stupid i am to not just have taken a message in the beginning. They tell me that my telling them to call back was what led to them not ever coming. Then my mom told me that if i wanted them to leave a message just not to pick up that phone. So i go "people call on that line". So she says well tell all your friends not to call that. And I go "luke called on that like 2 times today". So she goes well i'll tell luke not to call that. SO then i go "wait a minute didnt YOU call on that line when you asked me if any brokers had come". And she's like "uh... well i was just testing you". Right there i could have gone crazy.

And then my mom quickly changed the subject to me being an immature idiot who didnt want to sacrifice for the family and being the moron that she is continued to say it over and over because me being an idiot in their eyes needed to be drilled of the facts that i'm an idiot. Now this angers me greatly. I can usually look quite calm when I am angry since i've honed this skill for many years. But you know what, i get one of these senseless nit-picking hans' verbal thrashings mostly every day. My brother doesn't get them anymore because well... he's insane. And for i'd have to say 6-7 years now pretty much every day i get angry at least once and want to either break a wall or smash a table or something. I've never done this which is why i said i have SELF-CONTROL. So anyways that was yesterday.

Today (saturday) my mom wakes me up at 10:30 am by telling me that i'm an immature person, something about being 19 and a half and going to UCLA and not knowing that brokers could be coming as we speak and i'm not even ready to evacuate my house so that those snakes can make their 2.5%. Not like any were gonna came today, but she was just being a bitch. Then she told me that if i want to stay in the house then i shouldn't go out at night. Since if i stay in at night instead of having fun i could wake up earlier and have fun at 10am. So i go what am i supposed to do at 10am? After that she whines about how much of a slob i am, even though i am one of the neatest guys you'll ever see in your life. And then i get the "houses sell fastest in the first 2 weeks and i'm really disappointed that its been two weeks and our house isn't sold spiel". Then my dad calls from a lan party place in walnut that he owns part of and i get to play mr. tech support for the billionth time in my life, but that was ok it was my dad and he's usually pretty cool. So that goes on for a while but then i escape the house and go with jason to matts and do other stuff for about 7 hours. I go back and i get driven nuts again. A package came at my grandmas for me, and i forgot the box there. So my dad yells at me about how i am an adult and i'm irresponsible and immature saying "what do you think they are gonna take care of your box for you" that wasn't that bad. So they go to the airport and leave me with my brother and sister. I spend about an hour getting my brother and sister to take a shower and go to bed. So ... i am sitting here, and well the contents of the box are on a desk in my family room. So they come back around 12:30 am when i just finished packing up the video cards i sell for monday. So they give me more shit again. My dad gets mad because i'm "immature" and only thinking of myself since i left a windows 2000 box and a cdrw drive on that desk in the family room. And my mom gets mad since both my sister and brother are good kids and have taken a shower and are in bed while i am not showered or in bed and its soooooo late at 12:30am (i take a shower at 3am or so at school btw). So my dad says something about me putting my crap on "that desk and its not even your desk " and something about "i know you too well, that stuff would still be there in 2 days if i didnt tell you ". BS. My dad doesn't know me. He's not even sure how old i am or when my birthday is. Anyways that cdrw was going to be installed in my computer and the windows2000 was going to be packed up to be resold so i dont know wtf he's talking about. So i was standing there and thinking fuck you. Then i thought some more and well my brother has his own desk, my sister has her own desk, but HANS nooooooooo... hans has never had his own desk. In the state i was in, which was >< that close to completely losing it, things like that really piss me off.

That is the typical type of thing that happens each day. I think what really bothers me is that they just cant leave me alone. Every little insignificant stupid thing they have to make a big deal out of. And compounded over and over its just making me have a lot of stress. I mean i already have to deal with all this selling video cards for a summer gig thing. I can feel my acne breaking out from the stress. My dad is usually pretty cool, but this morning he told my mom to stop nagging me at the house because he just couldn't stand this house crap anymore, and i think he's slowly being driven crazy too. I myself amazingly have not flipped out yet. I have SELF-CONTROL. My brother couldn't wait it out. I have more patience than you can imagine.

Well today wasn't the greatest day in the world. Woke at around 9am. Thought i had to be in compton soon... I mean the fedex guy came and took my "defective" monitor away. He was like didnt i just deliver this like 3 days ago. Anyways i packed up like 12 boxes for the post office, got my cousin to drive me there so i bought him lunch. Anyways my brother and him convinced me that i should get my haircut at this place in carson. So i go there and its like $7 only. Anyways they did a really good fade but they fucked up the top part so bad it wasn't even funny. The fade was really well blended but it went up to high.. anyways i dont even wanna talk about it, i'm shaving the top off to 1/4 of an inch tommorrow.

After that we decided we were gonna go to wilson park and play basketball at the new indoor gym. It was pretty fun until mr. corn bred white boy and his "i just smoked 65 joints" mexican friend came. They ended up on my team and never passed to anyone but each other. The white guy was such a jackass, he was this big like 6'2" oaf and like kept telling us not to play so wild and turn it over , when i turned it over like once. Then him and mr. pot smoker decide to do like 50 behind the back passes and backdoors and turn it over 25 times and its all ok. So they never passed and i kinda just drifted around the game guarding my big tall ass black guy. Everyone thought i was on crack since i didnt seem to be paying attention and well i didnt care since i touched the ball like 3 times (i scored all of those times). Like one time i tried a layup and a giant black man flew up behind me and swatted my shot right into the backboard and it held there for second. Another time after the white guy got him mad i went up for a layup and he hit the ball when i was still holding it with both hands , so i flipped over in the air and fell. Anyways the white guy was going out of bounds once and threw the ball back in and hit this one black guy in the head. I think it was on purpose at least it seemed like it. Then one time he called the black guy ignorant which really pissed him off. So the black guy called him a cornfed. this white guy was a total hick he had this big ass goatee and he was even pissing me off since he never passed except to the mexican guy. I even asked the guy if he was ok when he got up. So those two went at it for a while and they kept being rough and calling pussy ass fouls. So they got all mad, but the guy who runs the gym was playing so he made them stop and everyone left when the game was over. We said bye to the 3 black guys and they were real cool, my cousin knew one of them. That mexican guy that smelled like pot from 5 feet away didnt say anything the whole game.

Then at night willy was in town so me and terry and willy went to breakzone where i proceded to suck real bad again. I'd get balls to hit the edge of a pocket and just bounce around. but not go in. I really need to play some more. Oh yeah i got my voodoo5 5500 today and my duron 650 and motherboard came yesterday. So i can now fix the stupid 4 minutes faster each day problem by replaceing it. Now all i need is to burn a new win2000 CD. My computer is messed up the rc5 cracks really slow for some reason, i dont know what i did.

Hmm... i just read that this travis jackson guy died on connie's page. Here are my thoughts on it. If you are in a car and you are not wearing a seatbelt and you get hurt. Do you know what you are. Lets just say it starts with I and ends with the last 2 words of the nike slogan.

UPDATE: I was reading that post on connie's again and i came to this conclusion. The daily breeze said something like he wasn't wearing a seatbelt but we dont know if that made a difference. Now lets pretend i died in a car accident with no seatbelt. First off it wouldn't even be in a newspaper. But lets pretend that people cared and i was in the paper. Being un super-pimp/popular guy i'd probably get something like. Look at this moron, he didnt wear his seatbelt. Kids BUCKLE YOUR SAFETY BELT. Something like that. Anyways i'm bored. Oh yeah and the Daily breeze is one of the worst papers i've ever read.

Well yesterday me and jason drove up to berkeley. Right now i'm here in jimmy koontz's apartment. Jimmy and jason went to sleep shortly after the night activities. Chris went back to peter's house to go to echo lake tommorrow. Well i cant sleep so i'm listening to jimmy's bsb and n'sync collection.... yeah... Anyways all i can say about berkeley is that the place is a shit hole. All the streets are fucked up especially college ave right now. People's park is just a dirty place. The sidewalks look like shit , and the buildings all look like there is mold and moss and grafitti and crap growing off them. Basically it looks like the area near the frat houses at UCLA everywhere. I saw a dining hall in unit 2 and well i cant complain about ucla's halls anymore. Also i saw willy salas today, he just happened to be riding by on his bike. We had steak at peter's house, since his dad was cooking. Peter's roomate has a 36" wega and a death surround sound system, that puts matt's to shame. Anyways tonight was pretty interesting.

Chris loer wont be going back home until winter break, so dont expect to see him for a long while. Oh yeah i ended up with a C in physics 1 b, a B- in math 61 and an A in physics 4al. That sucks, lowered my gpa to 2.87. Damn.

Well the guy who bought 47 video cards, couldn't pay that much so it ended upbeing only 20 so i've sold only like 30 cards. Damn its gonna take forever to sell those 16 meg ones. Yesterday we went kareoke. And mini net party at jasons. Both parts were fun. Kareoke was fun, i didnt know it was fun like that. I wish we had more mics. Torrance is pretty boring but i still feel like i dont have enough time during the days. And one thing that sucks is that the guy who was buying a new car so i could get his old accord, might not buy a new car because someone at work got fired today. Dammit.

Well I love being able to say that i have nothing to worry about tommorrow. Anyways my dad brought me 117 more video cards on saturday. One guy is probably gonna buy 48 and the other pending deals combine for about another 15. SO i've sold 63 cards in two days, with a value of around $8500. I get to keep 40% so bam, $3400 for the hans do whatever hans wants scholarship. Also in other good news, i might be getting a car finally. My dad's friend is getting a lexus so he was gonna trade in his car. So instead he'll sell it to my parents for the trade in value. So its a 1991 accord lx automatic with 100k miles on it for $4000. Kick ass. What is not kick ass is that i will be paying insurance and gas. Oh well i'm not gonna be driving all that much this year. I'll insure myself for occasional driving i guess.

Well today is the end of summer school. I think i'm moderately prepared for my physics final which should be enough to get me the C on the final i want (40% or so) so that i can get a B in the class. I also found yet another cool website for you guys to look at. There is this guy who worked at a webdesign / clipart page and he did a shoot to be part of a free clip art CD and he looked so wierd that he's in like a jillion ads, but they are royalty free. Anyways i saw it on Asian avenue. Here is a link to a site that keeps track of ads his face has been on.

Ok great, i just had to use the toilet. And well some idiot threw up all over. Missed the toiled just all over the floor in between stalls. And of course we know where this idiot has got to be from and that would be Europe. It smells like warm beer mixed with vomit in there. Oh yeah great smell.

Well finished my physics labs and math homework. Just 2 finals left an i'm outta here. Oh yeah you gotta look at this. Its like a toyota corolla with half of an integra on it or something. And he wants $11000 for it. Haha. Thats insane.

Well there are 4 days of school left. I still have math homework due wednesday, and 1 physics lab left to do. And i have a chapter of physics that i'll probably stay up till 4 to read. The physics homework due tommorrow i did 5/8 problems on , maybe i'll do another one tonight if i feel up to it. 5/8 is around a B for homework in my class so its not so bad. So far my predictions are as follows, A- in math and physics lab and B in physics after i get killed by the final. That still would be my best quarter yet erin. Yeah thats pretty pathetic the rest of you.

Well as for me personally i'm really tired. Yesterday i was going to take a shower at around 4:30 AM after i just finished those 5 problems of physics. Anyways, i go to get my shampoo and soap and i'm like holy shit someone stole my soap and shampoo. Then i realized that i must have left it in the bathroom the last week. So i didnt take a shower. Now here is where my palm pilot comes to play. I wrote "buy soap and shampoo" in there, and i probably would have forgot without it.

Well on the good side, at least i've gotten to buy a lot of stuff. Yeah.... I ordered a new bigass monitor so that i wouldn't hurt my eyes on the computer. Terry says its not so great, but most of the cnet reviews said it was good. For $274 for a 19" with short tube made by panasonic it cant be that bad. Since i didnt wanna blow so much money i traded away my 1000mhz athlon for a slower one and some cash. So next week i'll have a 700mhz t-bird in my computer probably. I actually traded my 1000 for a 700 classic and money , but scott kim will buy the 700 he said. I calculated it out and i've got in the neighborhood of $1000 worth of random not being used computer equiptment in my room. So I will have to sell all that off.

Another thing is that i haven't even been playing diablo. The other day , i played some half life DM to test out my computer and i think i like that better actually. I think i'll just beat diablo2 on normal to say i did and stop playing, its not that fun just a little too mindless for me. And no randy i'm not gonna use the asus see through the wall driver. Damn i need more music to listen to. At least this laptop is pretty decent now that it has 128mb. one think that sucks is that i sold 22 geforces for $4000. But my dad wants me to keep the $2000 i made in a seperate checking account for some reason. I have to put all the money i make off stuff he gets me there. He said like he should get a cut, jokingly, which means.. well i dont know what that means. He said i have to put it in the account and he'll invest it. I think he doesnt want me to turn it into the next corel.

Oh yeah the other thing that sucks is my mom wants to go buy a new house. My dad as usually doesn't care, he's got his cable modem and our house is fine. I mean i really dont care what my house looks like or the shape or anything, but its dumb since even my aunt said so "whats wrong with your house?" I think to demand a car since i might end up living a lot farther away. I mean I DO have a license. Jason I WILL GIVE YOU A RIDE!!! YOU WILL SEE. (hmm.. come to think of it my neighbors are moving out and i don't even know their names even though they've lived there for 10 years) Right now my dad likes the area near juney's house or the area on the other side of arlington (i guess near my grandmas house but not that far). At least my mom's psycho ass has has started to consider houses that are in the torrance high school district. My dad said he wont live near west high because the houses over there look shitty. My mom kept insisting that south and west were so much better. I mean we all went to torrance and well i think i came out ok. She thinks it'll be so much better for valerie blah blah. She's in like 5th grade. HEll we bought that house when I was in 4th grade. Based on their logic they didn't care what school me or luke went to, but for valerie its ok. Its dumb anyways, doesn't matter what school you go to. If you are a dumb ass you are still gonna be a dumb ass. Hell if you go to a school known for having a lot of smart people and you live in that area and you are dumbass , it would suck even more because relatively you'd be an even dumber dumbass.