It's not true that married men live longer than single men.
It only seems longer.
Losing a wife can be hard.
In my case, it was almost impossible.
A man was complaining to a friend: "I had it all -- money, a beautiful
house, a big car, the love of a beautiful woman! Then, Pow! it was
all gone!"
"What happened?" asked the friend.
"My wife found out ..."
Wife: Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
Husband: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hall light
on.
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, "Honey, pack up your
things! I just won the California lottery!"
She replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?"
The man responds, "I don't care. Just so long as you're out of the
house by noon!"
I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months -- I don't like to interrupt her.
If your wife and a lawyer were drowning, and you had to choose which to save, would you go to lunch or to a movie?