Q: If you could live forever, would you and why?
A: I would not live forever, because we should not live forever,
because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live
forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not
live forever.
-- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss Universe contest
Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest
crime rates in the country.
-- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC
I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my
body.
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward
Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over
the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be
skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and
stuff.
-- Mariah Carey, pop singer
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our
papers. We are the president."
-- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed
documents
The police are not here to create disorder. They're here to
preserve disorder."
-- Former Chicago mayor Daley during the infamous1968 Democratic
Party convention
China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese.
-- Former French President Charles de Gaulle
I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply
with the law.
-- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that
he failed to pay his taxes.
The Internet is a great way to get on the Net.
-- Republican presidential candidate Bob Dole
Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
-- Former U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower
Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas.
-- Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
-- Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of
the same reactions in the brain as marijuana.... The researchers
also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't
remember what they are.
-- Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22
"It's like an Alcatraz around my neck."
-- Boston mayor Menino on the shortage of city parking spaces
Half this game is ninety percent mental.
-- Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark
They're multi-purpose. Not only do they put the clips
on, but they take them off.
-- Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company
charged the Air Force nearly $1,000 for an ordinary pair of
pliers
It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago.
-- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
I was recently on a tour of Latin America, and the only regret
I have was that I didn't study Latin harder in school so I could
converse with those people.
-- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the
impurities in our air and water that are doing it.
-- Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the
people who make them unsafe.
-- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor ofPhiladelphia
Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very
important part of your life.
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for
a federal anti-smoking campaign
The president has kept all of the promises he intended to
keep.
-- Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on "Larry
King Live"
After finding no qualified candidates for the position of
principal, the school board is extremely pleased to announce the
appointment of David Steele to the post.
-- Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Barrington, Rhode
Island
That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a
jackass, and I'm just the one to do it.
-- A congressional candidate