Who Pays on a Date

For all you single women torn with this dilemma when on a date.

If she wants to sleep with him, then it's a date:
He pays.

If she doesn't want to sleep with him and if she's a nice person who wants the "just friends" message to get through loud and clear:
She pays for herself and insists on it.

If she doesn't want to sleep with him and if she's a nice person but he's rich:
He pays but she offers.

If she doesn't want to sleep with him, she's not a nice person, and he's rich:
He pays.

If she doesn't want to sleep with him, she's not a nice person, and he's not rich:
He pays.

If he pays but she doesn't want to seem like a freeloader:
She offers to help, he refuses, she says she'll get the drinks or coffee later.

If he's cheap:
He asks her to split the bill.

If he's broke, they're close, she's not a nice person, and they're going to a good place:
She feigns indifference to the financial catastrophe that awaits him. He pays.

If he's broke, they're close, she's a nice person, and they're going to a good place:
She slips him the money before they get to the restaurant.

If he's broke, they're close, she's nice, and they're going to a cheap place:
She pays.

If he's broke, they're close, she's not nice, and they're going to a cheap place:
She suddenly realizes that she has to stay home and wash her hair... forever.

If she asked him out, it's his birthday, and they're in love:
She pays.

If she asked him out and it's not his birthday but he knows what's good for him:
She starts to pay, he protests, she gives in.

If he's a guy with any interest in seeing her again:
He pays. Period.

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