"What da 'ell's a burrahobbit?"
Always allow old men to take care of pressing matters in the south.
No matter who you are or where you live, be prepared to be luck #14 in a party of adventuring dwarves.
If you're a burglar, you'd better go burgle something.
Beorn is an Army.
Bard of Dale is awful hand to have around.
Dwarves don't do barrel riding.
Most all powerful dragons have a back door in their mountain.
This is a hobbit-hole, and that means comfort.
Wood elves don't like strangers.
If at first you don't succeed, look for Gandalf.
It's always safer to knock yourself out than to fight in a battle.
Dragons are kind of messy, but they're fun at parties.
Seven meals a day will give you hair on your toes.
If you're gonna disappear, do it on your eleventy-first birthday.
Never call 144 hobbits a gross.
Sometimes you shouldn't accept gifts from crazy uncles.
When attempting to save the world, be sure you bring your gardener.
It's not Proudfoots, it's Proudfeet.
"Make haste, make haste, the Nine are abroad."
Listen to Strider!
If you're tall, skinny, and like to prance, you're probably an Elf.
"Isulder's Bane!"
If you have a group to save the world, make sure 40% of them are under four feet tall.
When attempting to crawl into the heart of evil, ditch the warriors and take your gardener.
Don't call a hobbit a fool; call him Pippen
Don't look into the Palantir you idiot!
If you don't have a last name, call yourself the son of your father (Gimli, son of Gloin).
Drink the ent draught!
Never take a Frodo Baggins short cut.
If lost in a forest, make friends with the trees.
Hang out with the trees until you find someplace to meet your friends (and look into the Palantir you idiot!).
Radagast, you moron!
If you die in a battle, don't give up! Aragorn will save you!
When confronted by a being of pure evil (Balrog), scream like a girl (Aieee!).
Change your clothes and you become more powerful.
Trust the Pukel man.
Never trust someone with a forked tongue.
When confronted by a Nazgul, stab him in the knee! (then let the girl finish him off).
If you're fighting with someone, and you're invisible, but he can still see you, pawn the ring!
After you and your gardener save the world; and they write songs about you, that doesn't mean you shouldn't go on vacation with your uncle Bilbo.

Forget reading all four novels, just look at this list! Now click here to go back to see my menu of literature, here to go back to my main page, or here to go to GeoCities.