As Misty's World Turns


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June 1, 2003

It's been so long since I've come in my journal to write. It's been a rough month for me physically...lots of pain and inability for me to do much. I spend alot of time on the phone with my best friend Deb. She has become a very important part of my life. As I know I have been for her. She's more like a little sister to me than a friend. We know each other better than most people ever will. And we've shared so much.

I've recently added a new website to my list of webpages. It's called Violence Has To Stop! I'm very proud of it. It's packed with information about all the various types of abuse. From domestic abuse, sexual abuse, elder abuse to publications and legislation. I sincerely hope this helps the many women out there who face abuse day to day.

June 21, 2003

It's funny how things happen, and at the time you never think twice about it. Then later down the road it hits you just how much your life has changed.

I'd spent so many years unhappy in my marriage. I kept trying to convince myself and everyone else that I was happy, even though I was a nervouse wreck, and had thoughts of suicide. It wasn't until I'd actually started to plan for my suicide that it hit me just how unhappy I really was.

I knew my husband didn't love me, and that he hadn't loved me in many years. I also knew he was mentally abusive to me. What I didn't realize was just how bad it had been until just recently. When I began doing my latest website, Violence Has To Stop, I started to read the many "signs of abuse". When it came to "verbal abuse" he was exactly what they say an abuser is.

I guess because the abuse had started so gradually, and continued to build over the course of 13 years I wasn't fully aware just how bad my life had gotten. I knew that when I'd left him I felt as though a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I also began to feel better physically too. It's amazing what that kind of stress can do to a person. But the biggest change I'd noticed in myself was my self esteem coming back, and that things didnt seem so over powering to me. I actually felt free for the first time in years.

Reading the guestbook entries to my Violence Has To Stop website has been an eye opening experience for me. And one that makes me happy that I'm able to help just one person out there in trouble. But it also breaks my heart that so many women have to live with abuse at all, especially physical abuse. Women who are desperate to escape their husbands for the safety of themselves and their children. Many who escape have little but the clothes on their backs. No one should have to live like that.

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