Sept. 3, 2003
September is such a depressing month for me anymore. I used to always look forward to September because it's my birth month. But now it just reminds me of what I lost more than anything. This Friday will be the 1 st year anniversary of Bill's Death. I still miss him so much, and I think of him everyday. I often wonder as I lay awake in bed at night just how different my life would be today had he not died. As time goes on things seem more and more hopeless to me.
My biggest worry is money, or the lack of it. Each month my expences go higher and higher. Insurance and taxes alone takes more than 1/2 my income. Then I'm left wondering how I'm going to pay for food, medicine, and the other necessities. I love Florida. I love living less than 5 miles from the ocean. I love the weather, and I love this part of Florida more than anything. But it's coming to the point...very quickly....when I'll have to move from here for someplace cheaper. I'd miss the weather, the area, and the shopping, but what I'd miss most is my family. All of my family is here, with the exception of one sibling. My brother and his family, my sister & her husband, my niece and her family all live within 20 minutes of my house. I wish there was some magical answer.
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