Here's a letter that was written to "Dear Abby", and my response to her reply.
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DEAR ABBY: I am a 33-year-old "Southern boy," raised by strict parents. I have 
never married, mainly because I'm too picky. 

I'm currently dating a single mother of two. She is 29 and has a 10-year-old 
daughter and a 5-year-old son. 

I have fallen madly in love with this woman in only a couple of months, and will 
most likely marry her within the year. We don't live together. 

On several occasions, before or after showering or getting dressed, she has 
walked around her house with no clothes on. Of course, it doesn't bother me to 
see her naked. This is her home, and she has a right to do as she wishes. 

The problem I have is that she sees no problem in being naked in front of her 
son. She even showers with him. I realize this is her child, and she feels 
comfortable being naked around him. I was not raised this way. 

When I mentioned it, it caused a little tension. Am I being overly sensitive. 

Her son, who will be 6 in December, makes comments and whistles when he sees his 
mother's naked body. At what age should a parent be covering up in front of the 
children? Please let me know what you think. 

NEEDS THE NAKED TRUTH 

IN ATLANTA 

DEAR NEEDS: You are NOT being overly sensitive. The naked truth is that when a 
child is old enough and aware enough to whistle and make comments about the 
parent's body, the time has arrived to cover up. 

And you would be wise to be certain you agree with most of this woman's values 
before you jump into marriage. 

----------------------
Dear Abby,

This is in response to "Needs the Naked Truth in Atlanta", whose girlfriend goes 
nude around her home and in front of her children.  He said she's comfortable 
being nude in front of the kids, but her son whistles and makes comments when 
seeing her naked.  Your advice was that it's time for her to cover up.  You made 
no mention about a remedy for the boy's behavior.

The problem there is not the nudity, but the boys perception of the human body 
and of women.  They should look into where he picked up the idea of whistling at 
nude women like the stereotypical chauvinistic man.  He may have picked it up 
from the mother's boyfriend, but more likely from school mates or his biological 
father.  They must stop the boy's derogatory attitude towards women as soon as 
possible, while he's still young and impressionable.  The should tell him how 
that type of inappropriate behavior towards anybody, nude or clothed, is totally 
unacceptable.

The mother's nudity in the home, however, is one of the best things she could do 
for her children.  Nudism promotes acceptance of oneself and others for who they 
are, rather than what they look like or what clothes they wear.  When children 
grow up in a home where nudity is accepted and common, they develop far more 
emotionally stable than they would without it.  They grow up with a much higher 
esteem and self-image.

To expand on this importance, I'll tell you about a story I recently read.  A 
couple has four children, all girls from 10 to 17.  The father is a nudist but 
the mother is not and doesn't approve of him being nude in front of the 
children.  At least one daughter is already on the verge of an eating disorder, 
and the father wants to use nudism to help them improve their self esteem and 
see themselves for the beautiful people they already are.  His wife is strongly 
against this, even though she had an eating disorder in college and still has a 
very low self-image of herself.  It's this perpetuity of the idea of body shame 
that makes the US have the highest rates of sex crimes, pornography, teen 
pregnancy, and cosmetic surgery among minors, compared to countries that are 
more accepting of nudity where those statistics are very low.

We have to stop teaching that the human body is a thing to be ashamed of or 
embarrassed by.  The nude body is not immoral in any way, but is a beautiful 
creation we should be proud of.--Nude and Proud in Michigan

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here is a list of responses to a letter to Abby that I never personally responded
to.  I never saw the original letter but based on what the responses say, I think
it was from people who had just moved into a neighborhood and were invited over
for a hot tub party by their neighbors.  It turned out to be a clothing optional
hot tub party and made these new people uncomfortable.  I think Abby supported
social nudity but said in her response that the hosts should have informed the
guests of the nude recreation in the invitation.
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[8-21-01]
FAIR WARNING OF HOT TUB PARTY PREVENTS NEIGHBORS' CRY OF FOUL

DEAR ABBY: While I don't disagree with your response to "Doin' What Comes
Naturally," whose new neighbors objected to group nudity in their hot tub, the
hostess could have handled the situation with more sensitivity.  Reading between
the lines, I suspect that the hot tub dress/undress issues were raised for the
first time at the gathering, which put the newcomers on the spot. Good hosts
should never do that to their guests.

When the invitation was extended the hostess should have said, "By the way ..."
and explained the situation. That way, the new neighbors could have expressed
their discomfort privately, and the problem could have been avoided by keeping
the hot tub covered on that occasion.

In my experience, people who are uncomfortable displaying their bodies in public
are also uncomfortable with others being exposed. -- BASHFUL IN ORADELL, N.J.

DEAR BASHFUL: You're right. For some people, it's a moral issue; with others,
it's simply insecurity about how they look. Also, a sizable number of people 
would rather leave to their imaginations that which they would prefer not to 
view in the light of harsh reality. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I was shocked and disappointed by your position regarding the
"straightlaced" hot tub neighbors who didn't want to soak in the nude with the
neighbors. What is this world coming to when a person of your stature condones 
nude hot-tubbing with neighbors? Enjoying the "therapeutic benefits" of soaking
together in the nude -- unless it's husband and wife alone -- is a new low in
moral behavior. -- HORRIFIED IN HARRISBURG

DEAR HORRIFIED: It's neither new nor necessarily low. I have never condemned
nudity -- as long as it's on the up-and-up. And while I might hesitate to grin
and bare it (all), scores of wholesome people from many cultures enjoy the
naturalist way of life. Read on:

DEAR ABBY: My sister's pool parties (hot tub included) traditionally resulted
in discarded bathing suits. Guests who were uninhibited frolicked in the waves.
Those who were shy frolicked, too -- but with less exposure. The swimming
usually started after dinner, after the barbecue, after sundown. When the first
suit came off, those who were uncomfortable with the turn of events -- including
our parents -- would call it a day. No one ever complained.

Unfortunately, my fiance is too shy, so I don't get to do what comes naturally
anymore. Sign me ... ALL DRESSED UP, NOWHERE TO GO

DEAR ALL DRESSED: Different strokes for different folks! Read on:

DEAR ABBY: I am a 15-year-old reader who usually disagrees with your answers
because I am a lifelong conservative.

After reading the letters in your column from "Sleep-Deprived in Schenectady"
(who complained about the noisy upstairs neighbors' love-making) and "Doin' 
What Comes Naturally" about the naked hot tub parties, I discussed them with
my family. We have a practical solution for "Sleep-Deprived": Buy a fan to cover
the noise, then send the couple from upstairs to the hot tub party!--
CONSERVATIVE TEEN IN WASHINGTON

DEAR TEEN: I'm pleased that your conservatism hasn't curtailed your "liberal"
sense of humor. You are a wit.
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