*** PMSNBC NEWS BULLETIN ***

ONLINE CRACKPOT TO APPEAR ON BASIC CABLE GAME SHOW

Dick Burns and Betty Humpter Reporting


Sources report that world-famous Internet curmudgeon, conspiracy theorist, and guitar whiz Eric Cartman will appear on Comedy Central's award-winning quiz show Win Ben Stein's Money on January 10. The air date has not yet been released.

Cartman was selected from a vast pool of more than 6 applicants, primarily for his renowned ability to impersonate Broadway legend William Shatner.

Cartman, who sells propane and propane accessories for a living, has recent experience on the small screen. His stellar performance as Appalachian rocket scientist/moss farmer Lanzo Bowling in the HBO "mockumentary" This Is American Hollow garnered him a recent Golden Glove nomination from the Film Society of Pittsburgh.

When asked for comment, Cartman demurred, merely stating, "I remember reading Stein's Penthouse column back in the day, which appeared right after the letters in the Forum. He seems pretty cool. I'll take his money, and I'll take him & Jimmy out for a beer afterwards. Domestic beer, it's cheaper."

Cartman's mother, Vondelle, exclaimed in a high-pitched Southern drawl, "Ooo-ee! I'm so proud of my Cletus....um, Eric! Mebbe he'll use his winnin's to buy some new wood paneling for my Pinto wagon!"

More as news develops....