The Bone Collector, in 10 brief points.
- The script is execrable, an amalgamation of every "thriller" contrivance of the past 10 years;
- Casting Angelina Jolie as an NYPD uniform cop is akin to casting Ruth Buzzie as the lead in The Jeri Hall Story. Those lips, those cheekbones, that gun! The choice was so inept that the scriptwriter actually wrote in the fact that she is an ex-model;
- Jolie's character should set the teeth of all modern womanhood on edge. When she cries, all the men pat her on the back and tell her she is "terrific" (in fact, Mike McGlone and Denzel Washington actually call her "terrific" within 10 minutes of each other). And she bucks up with a pretty smile. When she is upset, she
walks off the job, although she is a beat cop. And the men drop by to see if she is "all right." For some reason, and I am guessing "those lips, those cheekbones!" the men don't say, "Hey. Where are you going, you limp hump?";
- Why doesn't Queen Latifah get more roles? She's so . . . . together.
- Anyone with a rudimentary knowledge of movies and a brain stem will have this figured out in a jif. If you don't, however, don't feel bad. You may just have nodded off. But there is also a good chance you are stupid.
- But no one could predict the motivation of the "Bone Collector." It is just too ridiculous.
- New York City is very spooky in this film. It gave me that same creepy, flesh crawl I felt in "Ghostbusters II."
- Note to casting. With the death of J.T. Walsh, vindictive, unimaginative and bureaucratic cop roles are now offered first to Michael Rooker.
- If you want a better "rookie cop" flick, I recommend "The Rookie" with Charlie Sheen, which at least sports Clint Eastwood and Sonia Braga.
- Why doesn't Ed O'Neill get more roles? He's so . . . . together.
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