Q. Why did it take the blonde three hours to make the orange juice?
A. The can read 'concentrate'.
Q. What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A. Gifted.
Q. A fair vendor told a blonde that he could guess her age within two years.
A. She told him she couldn't wait that long.
Q. What do you call a blonde with a whole brain?
A. A golden retriever.
Q. Why can't blondes be pharmacists.
A. They can't get the bottle in the typewriter.
Q. Why can't blondes eat pickles?
A. They can't get their head in the jar.
Q. What does a blonde do in an emergency?
A. She asks someone for the number to call 911.
Q. What did the blonde call her pet zebra?
A. Spot.
Q. Why did the blonde climb the glass wall?
A. She wanted to see what was on the other side.
Q. Why did the blonde name her five children Jim, Bob, Linda, Wanda and Lee Kwong?
A. She had heard that one out of every five children is Chinese.
Q. What do you call a group or blondes standing in a circle?
A. A dope ring.
Q. How do you tell if someone has a blonde secretary?
A. Whiteout on the PC screen.
Q. Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A. It means Toes Go In First.
Q. What is it when a blonde dyes her hair?
A. Artificial intelligence.
Q. How does a blonde hold a thought?
A. She holds her nose.
Q. Why is it a good idea to always have a blonde with you when you
go to the mall.
A. You can park in the handicapped space.
Q. Why do blondes always wear shoulder pads?
A. So they don't knock themselves out when they wave their heads from side to side when they say "I don't know".
Q. What did the blonde get on her IQ test
A. Drool.
Two blondes were driving to Disneyland and saw a sign that said 'Disneyland Left'.
They turned around and went home.
Q. What do you do if a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?
A. Pull out the pin and throw it back.
Q. What is the difference between a blonde with an IP of 158 and
a sasquatch?
A. There have been reported sightings of the sasquatch.
A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked her how many pieces she wanted 6 or 12?
She said she couldn't possibly eat 12.
Q. Why don't blondes play frisbee?
A. It hurts their teeth when they catch it.
Q. Hour can you kill a blond?
A. Put spikes in her shoulder pads.
Q. Why don't they let blondes take coffee breaks?
A. It takes to long to retrain than.
Q. What do you call two morons and a blond?
A. Triple redundancy.
Q. How do you drown a blond?
A. Put a scratch and sniff on the bottom of a swimming pool?
Q. Why was the blonde so proud of herself for finishing the jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A. The box said 2 to 4 years.
Q. How do you get a blonde to laugh on Monday?
A. Tell her a joke on Friday.
Q. How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. It takes only one to screw up anything.
Q. How can you tell when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A. The M&M shells all over the counter.
Q. How do you confuse a blond?
A. Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to put them in alphabetical order.
Q. What do blondes have painted on the top of their ladders?
A. STOP!
A blonde and a brunette were walking along. The brunette looked down at the ground and said "Oh look, a poor dead bird". The blonde looked up and said "Where"?
Q. What is the definition of gross ignorance?
A. 144 blondes.
A blonde was driving to California and saw a sign that said "Clean Restrooms ahead".
By the time she got to the coast, she'd cleaned 68 of them.
Q. What do you call three blondes in a corner?
A. A vacuum.
Q. Why did the company decide to hire blondes only?
A. They wanted to lighten their overhead.
Q. Why was the blonde grasping at the air?
A. She was trying to collect her thoughts.
Q. Why do blondes wear ponytails?
A. To hide the valve stem.
Q. What do you see if you look behind a blonde's ear?
A. The valve stem.
Q. Why did the blonde have a bicycle pump in her ear?
A. It was time for a recharge.
Q. Someone dropped a $50 bill on the floor in front of an intelligent blond, an honest lawyer and a dumb blond. Who got the money?
A. The dumb blond, the other two are figments of your imagination.
Q. What do you call a blonde behind the wheel?
A. An air bag.
B. What do you call that thing that comes out of the steering column when you have a wreck?
A. No silly. It's a blond.
Q. Why did the guy always bring his blonde girlfriend with him when went driving?
A. He had heard that cars with air bags in them were safer.
Q. What do you call 18 blondes standing ear to ear?
A. A wind tunnel.
Q. What's the difference between a radio station and a blond?
A. When the radio station has lots or dead air it's a problem. It's normal for a blonde.
Q. What do you call 25 blondes stacked on top of each other?
A. An air mattress.
Q. What does a blonde say when you blow in her ear?
A. Thanks for the refill.
Q. What do you see when you look into a blondes eyes?
A. The back of her head.
Q. What do you call a brunette hooker and three blond hookers lined up in a row?
A. Regular price, 4 bucks, 4 bucks, 4 bucks.
Q. How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?
A. See if she has a checkbook.
Q. Did you know that blondes are biased?
A. it's always bias this, bias that.
Q. Ha do you get a blonde pregnant?
A. Boy, and you thought blondes were dumb.
Q. What did the blonde ask her husband when she found out she was pregnant with their 2nd child?
A. Do we have to get married again?
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama canal?
A. The Panama Canal is a busy ditch.
Q. How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A. She can get the pop-tart out or the toaster in one piece.
Q. Why do blondes have TGIF on their panties?
A. It means Toes Go In First.
Q. What do you call a brunette between two blondes?
A. An interpreter.
Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb?
A. Only one. They Just hold it up and wait for the world to revolve around them.
Q. Why was the blonde killed in the pie eating contest?
A. A cow stepped on her face.
Q. What do you get if you leave some blondes in the freezer overnight?
A. Frosted flakes.
There was a suicide blonde.
Dyed by her own hands.
Q. Ha do you know if a blonde works for the Mafia?
A. She'll make you an offer you can't understand.
Q. What goes Varoom, Screech, Varoom, Screech, Varoom, Screech?
A. A blonde trying to go through a blinking red light.
Q. A blonde tried to blow up her husband's car.
A. She burned her lips on the tailpipe.
Q. A blonde got very depressed when she saw her driver's license for the first time.
A. She saw that she got an 'f' in sex.
Q. What did the blonde see when she was asked to check if the turn signal was working?
A. No it isn't, yes it is, no it isn't, yes it is....
Q. what do you get when you cross a blonde with a banana?
A. A fruit that peels itself.
Q. How many blondes does it take to change a tire?
A. Three. Two to mix the drinks and one to call Daddy.
Q. How do you measure a blondes IQ?
A. With a tire gauge.
Q. Why do blondes wear so much hairspray?
A. To catch everything that goes over their heads.
Q. If a blonde and a brunette fall off a tall building at the same time, who hits the ground first?
A. The brunette, the blonde has to stop and ask for directions.
Q. What's the worst thing about being a blonde?
A. Having to put up with all these blonde jokes.
Q. What's black and blue all over and brown at the top?
A. A brunette who told one too many blonde jokes.
Q. Why were blondes never on the Texas cattle driver?
A. Because they couldn't keep their calves together no how.
Q. Why do many women have bruises around their navels?
A. Because they went to bed with a blonde male.
Q. What is the mating call of a blonde?
A. "Boy, have I had too much to drink."
Q. What do blondes do when they get up in the morning?
A. They get out of bed and go home.
Q. Why do you blondes have fur trim around their skirts?
A. It keeps their ears warm.
Did you hear about the blonde lesbian? She likes men.
Q. What's a blonde's favorite rock group?
A. Yes.
Q. What is the mating call for a brunette?
A. Well,.... all the blondes have left..
Q. Why do blondes wear cotton panties?
A. To keep their ankles warm.
Q. Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?
A. To give them a place to hang their shoes.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a limo?
A. Not everybody has been in a limo.
Q. Why do blondes like cars with tilt steering?
A. It giver them more headroom.
Q· What does a blonde put around her neck to attract attention?
A. Her legs.
Q. Why do blondes have square tits?
A. They forgot to take the Kleenex out of the box.
Q. What does a bleached blonde have in common with a Boeing 747?
A. The both have a little black box.
Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a 747?
A. Not everybody has been in 747.
Q. What does a blonde sat after making love and waking up in the morning?
A. "Are all you guys on the same team?"
Q. How does a blonde turn on the lights after making love?
A. She opens the car door.
Q. How are blondes and cow pies alike?
A. The older they are, the easier they are to pick up.
O. What does a blonde in the morning and the navy have in common?
A. They're both full or seamen.
Q. Ha is a blonde like a computer?
A. You don't appreciate either one until they go down on you.
Q. What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet seat?
A. The toilet seat doesn't follow you around after you use it.
Q. What is the difference between d blonde and a bowling ball?
A. You can only get three fingers In a bowling ball.
Q. How are bowling balls and blondes similar?
A. You can finger them, throw them in the gutter and they still come back to you.
Q. How can you tell if a bleached blonde has landscaped your lawn?
A. The bushes are darker than everything else on the lawn.
O· Ha many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Only one if the bulb is big enough.
Q· What is the first rule at the all blonde girls school?
A. Lights out at 10:00pm. Candles out at 1O:15pm.
Q. Why do blonde diets consist mainly of salads?
A. They eat like rabbits too.
Q. What is the difference between an old blonde and a young blonde?
A. One uses Vaseline. The other uses poly-grip.
Q. What is the difference between a blonde and McDonalds?
A. McDonalds has only served 50 billion.
Q. How does a blonde unwind after sex?
A. She climbs into the front seat and lights a cigarette.
Q. Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A. Because red means stop.
Q. Why do blondes hate vibrators?
A. They chip their teeth.
Q. What is the fastest speed that a blonde can safely drive a car?
A. 68 mph. At 69 she blows a rod.
O. Why can't blondes wear miniskirts in California?
A. All too often their balls hang out.
Q. What do you get when you cross a blonde and an onion?
A. A piece of ass that'll bring tears to your eyes.
Q. What do blondes end turtles have in common?
A. You get them on their backs and they're both fucked.
Q. How do you get a blonde dwarf to give you a blowjob?
A. Ask her to go up on you
Q. What is the difference between a blonde and the Bermuda Triangle?
A. The Bermuda Triangle swallows seamen.
Q. How do you part a blondes hair?
A. Fart.
Q. Why couldn't the blonde bob for apples?
A. The toilet was in use.
I'm Sorry, I'm Sorry, I'm Sorry. No need to get mad. Remember, no teeth.