When Advertizments Go Bad

They didn't mean to mean what it means, know what I mean? The creators of the following real-life signs knew what they meant to say, but that's not what they said!

  • Illiterate? Write today for free help.

  • Sign at an auto repair garage: Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere again.

  • Our qualified and experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals and smacks included.

  • Dog for sale: eats anything. Is especially fond of children.

  • Mixing bowl set designed to please the expert cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

  • Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.

  • Semi-Annual After-Christmas Sale!

  • Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off head illusion. Salary and Blue Cross.

  • Dinner Special: Turkey, $3.35. Chicken and Beef, $3.25. Children, $2.00.

  • For Sale: antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

  • We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

  • Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

  • Vacation Special: Have your home exterminated. Get rid of aunts. Zap does the job in 24 hours.

  • Christmas Tag Sale: Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

  • At a farm: Cattle--Please Close Gate.

  • Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too!

  • Sign posted at a used-car dealership: Why go anywhere else to be cheated? Come to us first.

  • Wanted: Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Applicant must be capable of contributing to growth of family.

  • The Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety, unrivaled inconvenience.

  • In a laundromat: Please Remove Your Clothes When the Light Goes Out.

  • Fertilizing Manure: $2 per Pre-Packed Bag, $1 Do It Yourself.

  • Inscribed above a church door: This is the Gate of Heaven. Enter All Ye by This Door. ....Sign on the door: This door kept locked because of draft. Please use side door.

  • At an office building: Toilet Out of Order. Please Use Floor Below.

  • At a furniture store: We Promise the Lowest Prices and Workmanship.

  • No Children Aloud.

  • In a dress shop window: Come In and Have a Fit.

  • Sign outside a disco: The Most Exclusive Place in Town. Everyone Welcome!

  • Wanted: Hair cutter, Excellent growth potential.

  • In a pharmacy: We Dispense with Accuracy.

  • Sign outside a dance studio: Watch Your Step.

  • Would the person who took the step ladder bring it back or further steps will be taken.

  • From a restaurant menu: If any of our wait staff seem rude, you should see our manager.

    Send me some comments at apathetic2002@yahoo.com
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