Some of Life's Burning Questions

• If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

• If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland called "Holes?

• Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

• Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

• If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible

• Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one? >

• Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? >

• Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist? >

• If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

• Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn't they be wearing night gowns?

• If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

• When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

• Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

• Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with

• If you mixed vodka with orange juice and milk of magnesia, would you get a Philips Screwdriver?

• Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a "whack"?

• "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

• If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?

• Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?

• Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the universe you will believe them, but if they tell you that a wall has wet paint you will have to touch it to be sure

• If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?

• If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

• If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box?

• When a cow laughs, does milk come up its nose?

• Why do they put Braille on the number pads of drive-through bank machines?

• How did a fool and his money ever GET together?

• If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they stick Teflon on the pan?

• How do they get a deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

• If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?

• What's another word for thesaurus?

• Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

• What do they use to ship Styrofoam?

• Why is abbreviation such a long word?

• Why is there an expiration date on my sour cream container?

• Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

• How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

• Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

• Does 'virgin wool' come from sheep the shepherd hasn't caught yet?

• When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

• Does fuzzy logic tickle?

• Do blind Eskimos have seeing-eye sled dogs?

• Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?

• Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?

• Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?

• If you shoot a mime, should you use a silencer?

• What was the best thing before sliced bread?

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