not quite an epiphany
simply a passing thought
something i never realized
or maybe something i fought

i have been trying for some time now
to figure out what is wrong
to tackle this depression
to be and remain strong

i looked inside myself
under every rock i could move
i unearthed buried secrets
put everything out to lose

all these years of searching
what is wrong with me?
why have i never fit in?
why can't i see?

i never thought before
maybe the problem could be
a problem that's not mine to have
and can't be found in me

maybe, just maybe
i shouldn't learn to cope
because maybe if i did
it would be me losing hope

maybe i want to be sad
because if not, then i don't care
and maybe, just maybe
i really don't fit anywhere

maybe the problem i have
that feels so deep inside
that makes me want to run away
and crawl in a hole and hide

maybe it isn't inside there
and it's always been before me
maybe i have been unfair to me
and i shouldn't have abhorred me

maybe I don't fit in
because i don't want to
maybe it's not what's wrong with me
maybe it's what's wrong with you

maybe being sad is not a sickness
maybe being happy is
in the world i see around me
how can you not be pissed?