The Un-Official Fan Page of Starbound II.

Come in, come in...don't just stand there doing nothing like an idiot, come inside, sit down, relax, I don't bite. You youngin's are jumpier than a pack of Ceptri's. Come on, don't take all day, I'm not getting any younger!

Right, now, you're quite comfortable? Want a drink? Oh, you don't drink, fine. Well, first, I'll tell you a bit about myself. I was born back in the days of the Corporations. What are the Corporations, you say? Well, the Corporations were the massive super-companies that ruled that world before the Empire was born. Their names, you ask? Well, I don't think I can remember them all - there were a lot of little ones, you know - but there were the ancient Sony's, the ones who gave the world the Las-disc. There was Hyundai, yes, yes, I remember them, used to have a Hyundai Alpha back in the old days, ran like a charm till I ploughed it through a small moon, but that's another story for another time. Yes...mm - oh yes, now I remember another one, ah, now what was it, banana? No, not that, something with an A, er, Artichoke? No no, that's not it, let me think, I know it, it's in there somewhere and - that's it! Apple! Yep, now I remember. When the great evil one, what was his ancient name, Bert? Bort? Bill! That's it, yes, Bill Gates! Well, when he was finally slain for his hideous crimes, Apple became the leaders of the revolution, giving us the most advanced technology of all the races, though at that time we didn't know about the other races so we thought the whole deal was a bit burnt around the edges, but you know. Anyway, well, when Apple finally came to power the great corporations were united under the one lead and formed the Alliance, which we call the Empire now-days. What? What's that you say? Of course this is leading up to something...I heard that!

BarracksAnyway, now, where was I? Oh yes, the Alliance - er, Empire. Well, when the Empire came to power all kinds of advances were made. The first cold fussion reactor powered the first space ship towards the stars. What's that you say? What's a cold fussion reactor? Oh, a very old form of energy, very wasteful, very crude. You might see one in a museum one day, but anyway, where was I? So, once that first ship reached orbit there was no stopping us! Well, I was 'bout your age back then and a lot dumber - clean out those ears, will you, you can't possibly hear properly with all that gunk in there - I thought I was invulnerable. So, I went down to my local military base - there were lots around back then, there were a lot of, oh dear, what were they called again? Brownies or something? Anyway, these brownies didn't like the space ships using those old fussion things and they stirred up a fair bit of trouble. So, with a bit of persuasion from the television - what's television you ask? Well, think of your normal Screen with half a ton of electrical stuff attatched to the back. A bit of a mess, those things were. Anyway, well, these brownies caused so much trouble that the military moved in pretty hard. So, being the hot-headed youth I was, I decided to serve my planet and join the military. That was when I got my first set of thrusters and started my long adventure, which I'm just getting to. Anyway, I went to - what's that you say? Time running out? Oh, alright, you can go get a synthburger, just be sure to come back. You youngin's ain't got no respect for a good story, tsk tsk tsk. Well, when you get back, just ring the buzzer, okay?

And bring me back some cough syrup, the ol' chests given me a bit of trouble at the moment...

Push me!

Press the Buzzer

mortal souls have dare to tread this place before you.

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