Engineer Jokes (contd.)

A Mathematician, a Biologist and a Physicist are sitting in a street cafe
watching people going in and coming out of the house on the other side of
the street. First they see two people going into the house. Time passes.
After a while they notice three persons coming out of the house.
The Physicist: "The measurement wasn't accurate.".
The Biologists conclusion: "They have reproduced".
The Mathematician: "If now exactly 1 person enters the house then it will
be empty again."

Engineer's Pay

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Person asked the young Engineer fresh out of Stanford, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"

The Engineer said, "In the neighborhood of $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."

The HR Person said, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years - say, a red Corvette?"

The Engineer sat up straight and said, "Wow!!! Are you kidding?"

And the HR Person said, "Certainly, ...but you started it."

Who created human body ?

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible
designers of the human body. One said, ``It was a mechanical engineer. Just
look at all the joints.'' Another said, ``No, it was an electrical
engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical
connections.'' The last said, ``Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else
would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?''

Engineer's Bike

An engineering student was riding across campus on a shiny new bike. He ran into a friend of his who said "Wow, that's a great bike! Where'd ya get it?"

"Well, the darndest thing happened" said the first student."A girl came riding up to me and got off the bike, threw off all her clothes, and said I could have anything I wanted!"

"Wow," remarked his friend. "That's great! Good move, her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."

Experience pays

There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Several years later his company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multi-million dollar machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine fixed, but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past.

The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. He spent a day studying the huge machine. At the end of the day he marked a small x in chalk on a particular component of the machine and proudly stated, "This is where your problem is". The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again.

The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. The engineer responded briefly:

One chalk mark .. ..... ..... $1

Knowing where to put it ..... $49,999

It was paid in full and the engineer retired in peace.

P for Practical

In the high school gym, all the girls in the class were lined up against one wall, and all the boys against the opposite wall. Then, every ten seconds, they walked toward each other until they were half the previous distance apart. A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were asked, "When will the girls and boys meet?"

The mathematician said: "Never."

The physicist said: "In an infinite amount of time."

The engineer said: "Well... in about two minutes, they'll be close enough for all practical purposes."

The genius?