A surd goes to a barber shop wearing walkman headphones. He tells the
hairdresser: "Cut my hair please, but do not remove the headphones."
The hairdresser does his job but needs to get under the headphones to
finish his work. He removes the headphones thinking that the surd will never even notice.
The surd falls to the floor, chokes, turns blue and dies. The
hairdresser picks up the headphones to see what he was listening to
and hears: "Breath In, Breath Out, Breath In, Breath Out....."
German scientists dug 50 meters down in the ground and discovered
small pieces of copper. After studying these pieces for a long time,
Germany announced that the ancient Germans 25,000 years ago had a
nation-wide telephone network.
Naturally, the Russian government was not that easily impressed.
They ordered their own scientists to dig even deeper. 100 meters
down they found small pieces of glass and they soon announced that the ancient
Russians 35,000 years ago already had a nation-wide fiber net.
Pakistani scientists were outraged. They dug 200 meters down in the
underground, but found absolutely nothing. They happily concluded
that the ancient Pakistani's 55,000 years ago had cellular telephones.
One rainy day Sardar singh was travelling by his new FERRARI
car. He was not a very good driver and so, did not have complete
control on it.
Mike tyson was also riding his bike on the same road . At a speed
breaker sardar's car came in contact with tyson's bike . Tyson got
very angry.
He dragged sardar out of the car and threw him a few yards away from
the car. Tyson then drew a small circle around sardar and shouted " Hey !!
It's not easy for you to damage my bike and get away . Now i will be
thrashing your car. You should stay inside this circle and watch me smash
your car. If you come out of the circle, I will kill you immediately".
Then tyson turned towards the car and he smashad its side indicators.
Then he looked at sardar . Sardar looked at tyson sarcastically .Tyson's
anger grew and he smashed the window panes and then again looked at sardar.
Sardar grinned at tyson.
Tyson was confused. Tyson could now not at all control his anger and he
broke the side doors and tore away the seats of the car. Then he again
looked at Sardar. Sardar was laughing so hard that he could hardly stand.
This time Tyson came to Sardar and he told " oh ! what is this ? I am
spoiling your expensive car and you are so happy about it ?"
Sardar replied " Every time you turned towards the car I was out of the
circle and you did not notice it . I have fooled you. You are a fool .. "
Sardar in
Q & A
Q: How do you measure a surd's intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear!
Q: HOW DO YOU KEEP A SURD BUSY ALL DAY?
A: Put him in a round room and tell him to sit in the corner.
Q: A surd going to London on a plane, how can you steal his
window seat?
A: Tell him the seats that are going to London are all in the
middle row.
Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN A SURD THROWS A PIN AT YOU?
A: Run like Hell....he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.
Q: How do you make a surd laugh on Saturday?
A: Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
Q: What is the surd doing when he holds his hands tightly over
his ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
Q: Why did the surd stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.
Q: Why do surds work seven days a week?
A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday.
Q: What did the surd do when he noticed that someone had already
written on the overhead transparency?
A: He turned it over and used the other side.
Q: Why did god give surds 2% more brains than horses?
A: Because he didn't want them shitting in the streets during
parades.
Q: How do you confuse a surd?
A: You don't. They're born that way.
Q: How do you keep a surd in suspense?
A: (I'll tell you tomorrow.)
Q: How do you keep a surd busy?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.
Q: Why can't surds make ice cubes?
A: They always forget the recipe.
Q: How did the surd try to kill the bird?
A: He threw it off a cliff.
Q: Why did 18 sardarjis go to a movie? - because below 18 was
not allowed !!!
Q: What's the difference between a surd and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Q: Why do men like surd jokes??
A: Because they can understand them.
Q: How many surds does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1: "What's a lightbulb?"
A2: One. Heholds the bulb and the world revolves around hin.
A3: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"
Q: What does a surd say when you ask his if his blinker is on?
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.
Q: What do you get when U offer a surd a penny for his thoughts?
A: Change.
Q: What do you call 10 surds standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
Q: What do you call a surd in an institution of higher learning?
A: A visitor.
Q: What do you call a surd with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
Q: What do you call a surd in a tree with a brief case?
A: Branch Manager.
Q: What do you see when you look into a surd's eyes?
A: The back of his head.
Q: What do a surd and your computer have in common?
A: You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they
go down on you.
Q: What do you do when a surd throes a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.
Q: Why did the surd take his typewriter to the doctor ??
A: He thought it was pregnant becaus missed a period.
Q: Why are surds hurt by peoples words?
A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.
Q: Why can't surds put in light bulbs?
A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.
Q: Whats the difference between a Surd and a Supermarket
Trolley?
A: A supermarket trolley has a mind of its own.
Q: A surd ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should
cut it in six or twelve pieces.
A: "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
Q: What's five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A: A surd parade.
Q: Guy asked his surd wife "how did you get the car in the
living room"?
A: She said "I drove it through the kitchen and took a left."
Q: SOMEONE ASKED IF A SURD BELEIVED IN SMOKING.
A: He said "Yes, I've seen it done."
A surd's response to the comment, "THINK about it!": "I don't
have to think -- I'm surd!"
SURD #1: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?"
SURD #2: "No, who wrote it?"
What about the surd wife who gave birth to twins?
Her husband is out looking for the other man.
SURD: "Excuse me sir, what time is it?"
MAN: "It's 3:15."
SURD: (puzzled look on his face) "You know, it's the weirdest
thing, I have been asking that question all day, and
each time I get a different answer."
Two surds observed in a parking lot trying to unlock
the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger:
Surd#1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Surd#2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting
to rain and the top is down!
Did you hear about the surd that stayed up all night
to see where the sun went ? It finally dawned on him.