Dear Murray, I'm having trouble writing my christmas list. All I really want is an anchor, but my parents wont get one for me. What should I do?

-Tommy (9)


Dear Tommy (9),

AHHHHH!!!!! An anchor??? You want an ANCHOR?!?! **whew** Don't do that to me! I'm sorry, I've had a very unfortunate incident with an anchor. It's a long story, it has to do with a guy in a Dingy Dog suit, a guy named Guybrush, a shelf full of Smuggle Bunnies, and the...the...the anchor! So to make a long story short, you just dug up some very painful wounds (and that's hard to do to a disembodied skull), so to answer your question, here is how you get the sought after anchor:

1) Steal one from a boat in a nearby dock.

2) Get a rope and tie the anchor around your ankles

3) Jump into the ocean.

4) If you happen to drift by my hands I will strangle you to death for opening such painful wounds!!

-MURRAY
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