Business Consultant...
Business Consultants: There once was an consultant who lived her whole life without ever taking advantage of any of the people she worked for. In fact, she made sure that every job she did resulted in a win-win situation. One day while walking down the street she was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. "Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in, though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we've never once had an consultant make it this far, and we're not really sure what to do with you." "No problem, just let me in," said the consultant. "Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven; afterwards, you can choose in whichever one you want to spend eternity." "Actually, I think I've made up my mind ... I prefer to stay in Heaven." "Sorry, we have rules ..." And with that St. Peter put the consultant in an elevator which went down-down-down to Hell. The elevator doors opened, and the consultant found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends and fellow consultants with which she had worked. They were all dressed in evening attire and cheering for her. They ran up, kissed her on both cheeks, and talked about old times. Early in the morning, starting at the choice tee time, they played an excellent round of golf followed that night by a steak and lobster dinner at the country club. The consultant was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved good-bye as she stepped into the elevator. The elevator went up-up-up and opened at the Pearly Gates where St. Peter was awaiting her. "Now it's time to spend a day in Heaven." So, the consultant spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds, playing the harp, and singing. She had a "heavenly" time. Before she knew it her 24 hours were over, and St. Peter came to get her. "So, you've spent a day in Hell and you've spent a day in Heaven. Now you must choose your eternity." The consultant paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell." So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator, and once more the consultant went down-down-down to Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends dressed in rags, picking up garbage, and putting it in sacks. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her. "I don't understand," stammered the consultant, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club. We ate lobster, danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable." The Devil looked at her and smiled, "That's because yesterday we were recruiting you, but today you're staff."