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Business Consultant...


Business Consultants:
        There once was an consultant who lived her whole life 
without ever taking advantage of any of the people she worked 
for.  In fact, she made sure that every job she did resulted 
in a win-win situation.  One day while walking down the street 
she was tragically hit by a bus and she died.  Her soul arrived 
in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter
himself.

"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter.

"Before you get settled in, though, it seems we have a problem.  
You see, strangely enough, we've never once had an consultant 
make it this far, and we're not really sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," said the consultant.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders.  What we're  
going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day 
in Heaven; afterwards, you can choose in whichever one you want 
to spend eternity."

"Actually, I think I've made up my mind ... I prefer to stay 
in Heaven."

"Sorry, we have rules ..."

And with that St. Peter put the consultant in an elevator which 
went down-down-down to Hell. The elevator doors opened, and 
the consultant found herself stepping out onto the putting green 
of a beautiful golf course.  In the distance was a country club 
and standing in front of her were all her friends and fellow 
consultants with which she had worked.  They were all dressed 
in evening attire and cheering for her.  They ran up, kissed 
her on both cheeks, and talked about old times.  Early in the 
morning, starting at the choice tee time, they played an 
excellent round of golf followed that night by a steak and 
lobster dinner at the country club.  The consultant was having 
such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. 
Everybody shook her hand and waved good-bye as she stepped into 
the elevator. The elevator went up-up-up and opened at the Pearly 
Gates where St.  Peter was awaiting her.

"Now it's time to spend a day in Heaven."

So,  the consultant spent the next 24 hours lounging around 
on clouds, playing the harp, and singing.  She had a "heavenly" 
time.  Before she knew it her 24 hours were over, and St. Peter 
came to get her.

"So, you've spent a day in Hell and you've spent a day in Heaven.  
Now you must choose your eternity." The consultant paused for 
a second and then replied,

"Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been 
really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."

So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator, and once more the 
consultant went down-down-down to Hell.  When the doors of the 
elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate 
wasteland covered in garbage and filth.  She saw her friends 
dressed in rags, picking up garbage, and putting it in sacks. 
The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.

"I don't understand," stammered the consultant,

"yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country 
club.  We ate lobster, danced and had a great time.  Now all 
there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."

The Devil looked at her and smiled,

"That's because yesterday we were recruiting you, but today 
you're staff."



© Richard Burk 1997-2100

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