1. We know about British English and American English but since the globalization of english, there is Chinese English too. English phrase with Chinese Interpretation in bracket Are you harboring a fugitive? (Hu Yu Hai Ding? ) See me A.S.A.P. (Kum Hia Nao ) Stupid Man (Dum Gai ) Small Horse (Tai Ni Po Ni ) Did you go to the beach? (Wai Yu So Tan? ) I bumped my knee (Ai Bang Mai Ni ) I think you need a facelift (Chin Tu Fat ) It's very dark in here (Wai So Dim? ) Has flight been delayed? (Hao Long Wei Ting? ) This Parking. (No, Pah King ) You are not very bright (Yu So Dum ) I am not guilty (Wai Hang Mi? ) Please, stay a while longer. (Wai Go Nao? ) Our meeting was tomorrow (Wai Yu Kum Nao ) They have arrived (Hia Dei Kum ) He's cleaning his automobile (Wa Shing Ka ) _______________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ 2. Anyone thinking of getting married? Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life!! --Anonymous ------------------------------------------------------------- An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her. --Agatha Christie -------------------------------------------------------------- Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. --Oscar Wilde ------------------------------------------------------------------- Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. --Scottish Proverb -------------------------------------------------------------------- I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. --Sam Kinison -------------------------------------------------------------------- It's not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer. --Anonymous -------------------------------------------------------------------- A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. --Anonymous -------------------------------------------------------------------- Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too. --H. L. Mencken -------------------------------------------------------------------- Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. --H. L. Mencken -------------------------------------------------------------------- "A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle."- U2 -------------------------------------------------------------------- "Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street bald and still think they are beautiful." -------------------------------------------------------------------- Marriage is a three ring circus: --engagement ring ---wedding ring ---suffering ----------------------------------------------------------------- When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why. ----------------------------------------------------------------- A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. ----------------------------------------------------------------- Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener. ----------------------------------------------------------------- The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is toforget it once. ----------------------------------------------------------------- When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife. ----------------------------------------------------------------- When a man is single, he's incomplete. When he's married, he's finished ========================================================= The History of Medicine - Submitted by KLets ========================= 2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root 1000 A.D. - That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer. 1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion. 1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill. 1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic. 2000 A.D. - That antibiotic doesn't work anymore. Here, eat this root. ************* NOT SO FAMOUS QUOTES - Submitted by debbie Honigwachs ======================================== I have six locks on my door, all in a row. when I go out, I lock every other one. I figure, no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking 3. --Elayne Boosier The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four americans sufferfrom some form of mantle illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are OK, than its you. --Rita Mae Brown My grandfather's a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice. One day, he took me aside and left me there. --Ron Richards I always wanted to be somebody but I should have been more specific. --Lily Tomlin I dont kill flies but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes They freak out and yell "Whoa, I'm way too high. -- by Bruce Baum ************* TV listing for "The Wizard of Oz" - Submited by J. Ward O'Brien ================================== "Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl accidentally kills the first woman she meets, then teams up with three complete strangers to kill the woman's sister for personal gain." ----------------------------------------------------------- To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. Someone will always stumble across the truth. And usually he'll pick himself up and carry on. Yes! God created man before women, but you always create a draft before the final masterpiece. ---------------------------------------------------- I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. -- Mark Twain ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________ Element : Woman Symbol : Wo Atomic Weight : Accepted as 118, but known to vary 105-175. Discoverer : Adam Occurrence : Copious quantities in all Urban areas, with slightly lower concentrations in Suburban and Rural areas. Subject to seasonal fluctuations. Physical Properties: 1.Surface usually covered with painted film. 2.Boils at nothing, freezes without reason. 3.Melts if given special treatment. 4.Bitter if used incorrectly. Can cause headaches. Handle with care! Chemical Properties: 1.Has great affinity for Gold, Silver, Platinum and many precious stones. 2.Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances. 3.May explode spontaneously if left alone on dates. 4.Insoluble in liquids, but there is increased activity when saturated in alcohol to a certain point. 5.Repels cheap material. Neutral to common sense. 6.Most powerful money reducing agent known to Man. Uses: 1.Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars. 2.Can greatly improve relaxation levels. 3.Can warm and comfort under some circumstances. 4.Can cool things down when it's too hot. Tests: 1.Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state. 2.Turns green when placed beside a better specimen. Caution: 1.Highly dangerous except in experienced hands. Use extreme care when handling 2.Illegal to possess more than one at a time. ____________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________