It has come ta our attention dat a coupola copies of the WINDOWS98/BROOKLYN EDITION may have accidentally bin shipped outsida Broooklyn. If ya got one a dese, you may need some help understandin' da commands. Da Brooklyn edition may be recognized by da unique openin' screen. It reads: "WINDAS 98," wit a background picture of Grand Army Plaza. When you start da program, instead of da usual "harpy, stringy" music, you hear da teme from da Godfadda. It is also shipped wit a Sopranos screen sava.

Please also note:

* Recycle Bin is labeled "Staten Island."

* My Computer is called "My Friggin' Computa."

* The Inbox is referred to as "Da Trunk."

* Deleted Items are referred to as "Wacked," "Erased," or "Rubbed Out."

* Dial up Networking is called "Da Bar."

* Control Panel is known as the "Da Bosses."

* Performin' an "illegal operation" is known as "enhancin' the family business" and will actually maximize WINDOWS 98/BROOKLYN EDITION program

instead of shuttin' it down.

* Hard Drive is referred to as "Da BQE Rush Hour."

* Instead of an error message a "You ain't gonna friggin' believe dis!" pops up.

CHANGES IN TERMINOLOGY IN DA BROOKLYN EDITION:

OK...................Sure ting

Cancel...........Fugetaboutit

Reset.............Start Ova

Yes.................Yeah

No...................Nah

Find................Put a contract out on

Browse..........Get a looksee

Back...............U toin

Help................(Help ain't available - youz don't need no stinkin' help)

Stop.................Knock it off

Start.................Move it!

Settings..........Here's d' Rules

Also note dat any voice recognition software run on da BROOKLYN EDITION platform don't recognize da letter "R." Some programs and udder accessories dat are exclusive to WINDAS 98:

Typa................A word processin' program

Printa...............Printer

Calculata..........Calculator

Solitare.............Seven Card Stud

We regret any inconvenience it may have caused if you received a copy of da BROOKLYN EDITION. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.

Youse got a problem wit dat?