Below is my historically accurate first Geocities Homepage in its original prehistoric html hieroglyphics back when Grateful Dead toured and gave Berkeley's Well the internet's early insight into free music trading, public bandwidth and local telcos could be harnessed for the good of all mankind without submitting to the evil greedy ways of Aol's meteoric empire rise and fall , like the holy roman empire with just "1000" free hours. A new Millennium crashed Compaq's as Yahoo begged to buy out Geocities and other free web services so "Excite" wouldn't conquer true Amazon e consumers of hand lotion....venture capitalist hindsight shows that chicks never bought as much hand lotion or Aol hours on Netscape as horny dudes. Prudent women shoppers could not drive the infrastructural demands of illegal down loaders and hormones demanded of cable modems. Adolescent teen aged sons with no money except moms stolen debit card were the sole driving force of e commerce efficiency and international standardization. The rest of silicone valley's engineers who had a sneaky little secret and personal insight into the quest for free porn and warez could foresee mightier gamers testosterone drive for more bandwidth was the key to Fry's super store and computer shopper. The late night bandwidth jones that drove our accent into cyber-evolved windows enterprise servers and the death of Netscape and aol and a clear and present need for cisco routers since telcos where not good with phone support isps whining about all of the moaning. Early sex starved auto driven joystick oriented gamers helped conceptualizers of super highway snake oil salesman to borrow more venture capitol for the fast lane to the promised land of intellectual property, before it was free, and before it could be taxed or throttled by government laws and bureaucracy. It was getting free, just like in heaven. We were once slaves to shrink wrapped evangelists, vapor ware vampires, anal corporate sys admins before dell gave away oem windows like it was free aol hours. After a select few ftp cults emerged from bbs unix on 400 baud modems, the internet soon had spawned warez for delinquent minors too young to be felons as the existing archaic legal system language was an anachronism of an old paradigm a few years ago. Investers lived in fear of brave new world of change, or worse yet, a rising middle class. Back in the old testament, when Bill Gates was Pharaoh of "Cairo" and Bill Clinton the Emperor fiddling away like Nero as Rome burned infernal fall from grace. After an iron age conquering of the IBM 1970's Neanderthals that wrote code while dragging their knuckles on cave walls made of silicone before writing to floppy paper thin removable media, our Gutenberg bible. Or in the far east, while wise men in Taiwan became richer than China by rapidly manufacturing complicated instantly obsolete crap before we knew it was flaky and buggy just like Windows networks and oem drivers. Before Windows 95 was released on ten HD 1.44 floppies, an OS larger than most hard drives on a x486, and many times larger than the maximum 4 megs of ram for the price of a used vw bug. back when Active X sounded like a good idea for internet developers not working for Netscape needing plug ins and java like magic that could improve the quality of the www virtual lava lamp. Primitive superstition led some of us to believe that the Microsoft beta software for newby wanna be developers would eventually start working even if you were not. Maybe if you just left it sitting there on your free Geocities.com or Tripod.com or Anglefire.com web Homepage long enough, the active x technology would repair itself and put you in business. Long before java emerged from the primordial soup of proprietary goo we now call "Code" both legal and computer And Google like Moses led us out of the Desert and a wireless laptop inscribed with the one streamlined algorithmic commandment "Do No Evil" (Just Ad Words)
When I was your age we worked hours and hours for what you did in kindergarten on your iPhone between naps.
Bob Aronson's
T*e*C*h*N*o*S*p*L*a*T
Homepage
Best experienced with lick here to start.
MICROSOFT'S ANIMATED GIF logo (Lick here to start)AND an example of ACTIVE X technology below, Starfish Earth Time Demo (will stall on Netscape)ALL THIS
So I can be a "member" of the really Neat-O Keen-O Level II status in Microsoft's "show me yours I'll show you mine" Member Enhancement Program. (actually, while Bill firm is Microsoft, his enhanced member is not)
Ontology. Technosplat. These are not scientific terms - Ontology is the philosophical, and technosplat the phenomenological, considerations of the state of being. In any case, it sounds better than consultant, programmer, or marketing geek. That's what the computer industry needs, less qualified engineers and developers and more ontologists and technosplatters. We question the meaning of the existence of the Internet - in Cartesian dualism: I surf, therefore I'm spammed. E Pluribus UNIX. In GUI We Trust. We the Pub Dir. Is There Linux after Death? Carpei Tunnel Diem, Email and Efemale, United States of America Online, Washington P.C. Compuserve-Compusa, An Apple a day keeps stock firm away. IBM. and then I flush twice, its a long way to the sewer of sophomoric humor.
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Oo-hay!
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