Pets' Pet Peeves

Dog:

They keep putting the lid down on the big water bowl.

Goldfish:

Just because I have a three-second memory, they don't think I'll mind eating the same old fish flakes...

 

Oh Boy!! Fish Flakes!!

Dog:

"MAN, why do they keep rubbing my nose in it? I already know whose it is!"

Cat:

Suck out one baby's breath and you're a pariah....

Goldfish:

The wimp-ass knight never comes out of the castle to fight me for dominion over the fish tank. So I must continue patrolling, for I am lord and master!

Parrot:

Tease, tease, tease! But do those greedy bastards ever really give me a cracker? HECK, no!!

Dog:

Human legs that just tease.

Dingoes:

When you snatch a boney, crunchy baby instead of a plump, juicy one.

Cat:

Why are these people in my house?

Dog:

What the... HEY!!! Where are my balls?!?!

Goldfish:

"Oh, 'tap-tap-tap!' There's a new one!"

Scattered around hither and yon about the internet. No idea who to attribute it to.
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