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Your mother has a short-haired, curly perm.
Your dad is some sort of engineer.
Your parents still try to get you into places half-price saying you were 12 when you were really 15.
You ask your parents for help on one math problem and 2 hours later, they're still lecturing.
You have a 40 lb. bag of rice in your pantry.
You shop at 99 Ranch.
Everybody thinks you're "Chinese" no matter what part of Asia your ancestors are/were from.
You've had a bowl haircut at one point in your life.
Your parents enjoy comparing you to their friends' kids.
You've had to sit through karaoke videos with scantily clad, ugly Asian women attempting to dance and walk around a temple, forest, or library.
Your parents say, "Don't forget your heritage."
You drive mostly Japanese cars.
You've learned to keep bargaining even if the prices are rock bottom.
You've had to eat parts of animals they don't even put in hot dogs.
At least once, you've started a joke with "Confucius said...."
You know what bok choy is.
You've gotten little red envelopes around February.
Piles of shoes tend to make it hard to open the front, back and closet doors.
You hear [your name + eeee (optional) + yah] everytime someone calls you (e.g. Jean-eeee-yah, or Mary-yah).
You have NO eyelashes.
Idiot people try to impress you with pathetic imitation Asian languages, like the ever so popular: ching cha wa woo bok chi...
Your parents say leaving rice in your bowl is a sin.
The BioLecture on marine life (seaweed, seacucumber, octopus) was last night's dinner.
Your ancestors 1000 generations back invented the backscratcher.
At least one member in your family wears black wire/plastic framed glasses.
Your parents hover over your tired, caffeine-drugged body at 12 midnight to say, "In China (or other native country), we studied even more.
Your parents expect you'll be best friends with anyone off the street, in any given area, as long as they're Asian.
Your parents pause on channels with Asian people on it.
Your relatives' house smells like incense, mothballs, or both.
Your parents say, "Calculus?!! I took calculus in the 8th grade!!!"
Everyone thinks you're good in math.
Everybody thinks you know karate/tae kwon do.
Your parents' vocabulary is filled with "Ai-yah" and "Wah's".
Your aunts and uncles bring you back adorable clothing from Asia with fuzzy bunnies, vinyl ducks, and English words that make no sense, in great colors like yellow, pink, magenta, orange, and the ever-so-popular lime green.
Your parents insist you marry within your race.
You never order chop suey, sweet and sour pork, or any other imitation Asian food.
Your family owns butcher knives bigger than your head.
Your parents have never kissed you.
Your parents have never kissed each other.
You learned the birds and the bees from someone other than your parents.
"You want a STEREO?!? When I was your age, I didn't even have shoes!!"
People see a bunch of scribbles on a pair of chopsticks and they ask you to translate.
You have to call just about all your parents' friends "Auntie" or "Uncle".
You have 20+ aunts and uncles.
At expensive restauraunts, you order a delicious glass of water for your beverage and NEVER order dessert.
Your parents simply cut the green/black part off the bread and say, "Eat it anyways. It's still good."
The vast majority related to you wear glasses. Thick glasses.
You will most likely be taller than your parents.
Your parents made you play the piano, the violin, or both.
You got nothing if you did well in school, but yelled at if you don't.
You have rocks, sticks, leaves, and strange-smelling, unknown substances in your pantry for use as medicine.
When you go to other people's houses, you have to bring gifts.
The furniture in your house never matches the wallpaper, the carpet, the decorations, or any of the rest of the furniture.
You family always cheers for the Asian athlete on T.V. (i.e. Michael Chang, Amy Chow, Michelle Kwan).
Your mother keeps glass jars that were used to hold jam, mayonaise, etc.
You own a rice cooker. Or two.
You buy soy sauce by the gallon.
You own a water boiler/warmer.
Whenever your relatives visit, everyone plays Mah Jong.
You unwrap presents extra careful so you can reuse the wrapping paper later.
All leftovers are kept, even if its a just a few bits of rice.
You use grocery bags as garbage bags.
You've worn hand-me-downs.
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