Weight Loss Program

This guy was reading the paper one day lamenting the fact that his doctor has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next thing he sees is an advertisement for a guaranteed weight loss program.

He calls them on the phone and subscribes to the 3 day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day there's a knock at his door, and when he answers, there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nikes and a sign hanging around her neck. She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

Well, without a second thought he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her. After they are through, he kisses the girl one last time and thinks to himself, I like the way this company does business. For the next two days, the same girl shows up and the same thing happens each time. On the fourth day, he weighs himself and, sure enough, he's lost 10 pounds.

Deciding that he likes his more slender physique, not to mention the method of treatment, he calls the company back and subscribes to their 5 day, 20 lb. weight loss program. The next day there's a knock at his door, and there stands a 22 year old knockout dressed in nothing but a pair of Reeboks and a sign hanging around her neck, which reads, "If you catch me, you can have me."

He's out the door like a shot. It takes a while to catch her, but when he does, it is worth every cramp and wheeze. She's the best he's ever had. For the next four days, the same girl shows up and the same thing happens each time. On the sixth day, he weighs himself and, unbelievably, he has lost another 20 pounds.

He decides to go for broke and subscribe to the company's 7 day, 50 pound weight loss program.

"Are you sure, sir?", asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."

"Absolutely!", he says. "I love your program. I haven't felt this good in years!

The next day there comes a knock at this door and he enthusiastically answers it. There stands Richard Simmons wearing nothing but pink racing spikes and a sign around his neck that reads "If I catch you, I can have you."