My Favorite Movie Quotes

Ace Ventura:

Ace: Fickle is Einhorn, Einhorn is Fickle, Einhorn is a man, OH MY GOD Einhorn is a man!
Ace: If I'm not back in five minutes... just wait longer!

Monty Python and the Holy Grail:

Bedevere: And how do you burn witches?
Crowd: With more witches!
Bedevere: No,no,no...And why do witches burn?
Peasant: Because...there made...of...wood?
Bedevere: Precisely, so how do we know if she's made of wood?
Peasant: Build a bridge out of her!
Bedevere: Ah, but can you also not build a bridge out of stone?

Bedevere: What also floats in water?
Peasant 1: Bread.
Peasant 2: Apples.
Peasant 3: Very small rocks.
Peasant 1: Cider.
Peasant 2: Grape gravy.
Peasant 1: Cherries.
Peasant 2: Mum.
Peasant 3: Churches, churches.
Peasant 2: Lead, lead.
Arthur: A duck.

Knights: We are the knights who say 'Ni!'

Mystery Men:

The Sphinx: We are number one! All others are number two or lower.

The Princess Bride:

Inigo Montoya: My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Westley: Give us the gate key.
Yellin: I have no gate key.
Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, tear his arms off.
Yellin: Oh, you mean *this* gate key.

Inigo Montoya: You seem a decent fellow, I hate to kill you.
Westley: You seem a decent fellow, I hate to die.

Minister: Mawwiage. Mawwiage is what bwings us togetha today.

Spaceballs:

Dark Helmet: I am your father's son's uncle's newphew's cousin's former roommate.
Lone Star: So what does that make us?
Dark Helmet: Absolutely nothing.

Spaceball Officer: You idiots! These are not them! You've captured their stunt doubles!

Notting Hill:

Max: You haven't slept with her have you?
William: That's a cheap comment and of course the answer is no comment.
Max: No comment means yes.
William: No it doesn't.
Max: Do you ever masturbate?
William: Definitely no comment!
Max: See, it means yes.

William: I am confident that in 5 minutes we can have you spic and span and back on the street again...in the non-prostitute sense, obviously.

Spike: There's something wrong with this yogurt.
William: It's mayonnaise.
Spike: Oh.

William: Did you identify with the character you are playing?
Interpertor: No.
William: Why not?
Interpertor: Because's he's playing a psychopathic flesh-eating robot.

Labyrinth:

The Worm: 'Ello.
Sarah: Did you say...hello?
The Worm: No, I said "'ello," but that's close enough.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off:

Economics teacher: Bueller?
Female student: He's sick...My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy that knows this girl who's going with a guy who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.
Economics teacher: Thank you, Simone.
Female student: No problem whatsoever.

Happy Gilmore:

Shooter: You're in big trouble, pal. I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!
Happy: You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?

Shooter: Just stay out of my way, or you'll pay. Listen to what I say!
Happy: How 'bout I just go eat some hay? I could make things out of clay and lay by the bay, I just may. What do you say?

Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade:

Henry Jones: I didn't know you could fly a plane.
Indiana Jones: Fly, yes....land, no.

Henry: Well I'm sorry about your head though, but I thought you were one of them.
Indiana: Dad, they come in through the doors.
Henry: Ha...good point.

Guardian Knight: He chose....poorly.

Jurassic Park:

Ian Malcom: God creates dinosaurs, God destroys dinosaurs, God creates man, man destroys God, man creates dinosaurs.
Dr. Ellie Sattler: Dinosaurs eat man, woman inherits the earth.