Signs

Veterinarian's office sign:
"All unattended children will be given a free kitten."

Lot outside Vet's office in Silverton, OR:
"Parking for customers only; others will be neutered."

In a Veterinarians waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

Plumber:
"We repair what your husband fixed."

Door of a plastic surgeons office:
"Hello. We can help pick your nose."

At a Towing Company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

Billboard on the side of the road:
"Keep your eyes on the road, and stop reading these signs."

On an Electricians truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."

In a Nonsmoking Area:
"If we see smoking, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action."

On Maternity Room Door:
"Push, Push, Push."

At an Optometrists Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a fence:
"Salesmen welcome, dog food is expensive."