High Tech Computer Sales Jargon

• NEW - Different color from previous design
• ALL NEW - Parts not interchangable with previous design
• EXCLUSIVE - Imported product
• UNMATCHED - Almost as good as the competition
• DESIGNED SIMPLICITY - Manufacturer's cost cut to the bone
• FOOLPROOF OPERATION - No provision for adjustments
• ADVANCED DESIGN - The advertising agency doesn't understand it
• IT'S HERE AT LAST! - Rush job; nobody knew it was coming
• FIELD-TESTED - Manufacturer lacks test equipment
• HIGH ACCURACY - Unit on which all parts fit
• DIRECT SALES ONLY - Factory had big argument with distributor
• YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT - We finally got one that works
• REVOLUTIONARY - It's different from our competitiors
• BREAKTHROUGH - We finally figured out a way to sell it
• FUTURISTIC - No other reason why it looks the way it does
• DISTINCTIVE - A different shape and color than the others
• MAINTENANCE-FREE - Impossible to fix
• RE-DESIGNED - Previous faults corrected, we hope...
• HAND-CRAFTED - Assembly machines operated without gloves on
• PERFORMANCE PROVEN - Will operate through the warranty period
• MEETS ALL STANDARDS - Ours, not yours
• ALL SOLID-STATE - Heavy as Hell!
• BROADCAST QUALITY - Gives a picture and produces noise
• HIGH RELIABILITY - We made it work long enough to ship it
• SMPTE BUS COMPATABILE - When completed, will be shipped by Greyhound
• NEW GENERATION - Old design failed, maybe this one will work
• MIL-SPEC COMPONENTS - We got a good deal at a government auction
• CUSTOMER SERVICE ACROSS THE COUNTRY - You can return it from most airports
• UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCE - Nothing we ever had before worked THIS way
• BUILT TO PRECISION TOLERANCES - We finally got it to fit together
• SATISFACTION GUARANTEED - Manufacturer's, upon cashing your check
• MICROPROCESSOR CONTROLLED - Does things we can't explain
• LATEST AEROSPACE TECHNOLOGY - One of our techs was laid off by Boeing

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