This is the first of a series of short stories with the same central character, Rani.

Through the protagonist , I would be trying to unravel the subtleties and complexities of human relationships.

 

 

Credits: I dedicate this story to my dream. It is easy to find your dream but a lot more easier to lose it.

 

This story is very special to me.

 

 

 

 

Rani had a good life. A nice apartment in Chicago with a view of the sharply defined skyline of downtown, an interesting job with colleagues she mostly liked. Rani had no reason to complain. But the shadows of the past  have a pattern and a will of their own. They weave a maze of memories like old faded negatives of meandering visages , some moving towards you and others away from you. Tara’s smiling brown face was the most prominent of all. Rani thought about her often.  

           

Tara, she was Shanthi tai’s daughter. Eldest of a noisy brood of children. She would

accompany her mother and do odd jobs at home. Shanthi tai had been with Rani’s family for such a very long time that she had become an invaluable part of their household. To Rani , she was the genie with the paan stained smile and big-bushy broom who would visit them at the crack of the dawn and have the entire house  spick and span with a swish here and a swash there. Her non-stop chatter about the latest happenings in the colony with the bucket clanging against her knees , had an unique rhythm of it's own . Rani would often watch , all wide eyed as Shanthi tai would dispense off paan after paan into her big gaping mouth.

 

Rani was about seven when she first met Tara. They were of the same age. Tara had long black hair which was always pulled back and tied with a flashy pink ribbon , muddy feet , hands and face. She would roam around the entire house clinging on to her mother’s palloo , with an unsure yet resolute look in her eyes. Rani’s mother would often coax her into accepting a chocolate bar or mithai .

 

Oh God, what paap have I committed to beget only daughters !!! , Shanthi tai would often lament. She had 5 daughters and no sons.

 

Who would take care of me when I am old and weary …...who would carry on the family name !!??!!!

 

Rani would listen in rapt attention to the sing-song wailings of Shanthi tai which would augment in intensity with the increasing attention of her listeners.

 

 

“But amma , why doesn’t Tara go to the school like me?”, Rani would ask her mother.

“Shanthi tai has no money, bujilu “, an endearment she would use for Rani whenever she had to reason it out with her.

“Now be a good girl and finish your homework “ she would admonish Rani.

 

During the rains, when the flies buzzed against the window panes and the lizards scuttled across the courtyard , Rani and Tara would make paper boats and set them afloat into the dirty puddles that littered the roads. The friendship between them was one of wary restraint in the beginning. Each one cautious of the other but united by their acts of mischief. It were these acts of truants that bought them closer and together they would spend hours chasing butterflies, climbing trees , fiddling with the car when the driver, Prabhuram , wasn’t  guarding it with his eagle eyes and watching movies on the sly where  a swashbuckling hero would single handedly trounce an army of hooligans. It was a happy time . But it had to end.

 

Rani’s father was transferred to a different city.

 

“Muniyaan, you wouldn’t forget us , would you ?”

“Study well and become someone big “ Shanthi tai blessed  Rani on the day of their departure , when Rani gave Tara a set of new clothes.

But Tara didn’t say anything. She quietly took the clothes and stood silent like a pillar on the landing outside the kitchen door where they had spent many a afternoons playing  ghar-ghar  with all the pots and pans they could find in the house.

 

Rani could still see everything clearly -  the overcrowded city , the bazaar, the chaotic rush of traffic , the tall peepul trees surrounding her home and in the courtyard Tara standing , clutching the dress , waving her skinny arms with tears and hurt in her eyes.

 

 

It was a hot and humid August afternoon , 5 years later , that they met again. It had rained the night before but the sun was out , fierce and unyielding.

 

“How could God be so unjust and take away our sahib!!!”

“Leaving you and the children like this ...” Shanthi tai cried , pulling Rani closer and holding her tight against her shaking body. The damp smell of sweat and wailings  made Rani’s head swim and chocked her breath. Pushing away a shocked Shanthi tai , Rani thankfully ran into the secure confines of her room. Throwing herself onto the bed , she gazed at the fan whirring fast  and for the very first time after her father’s death , let out confused and frightened tears. It was then that she saw Tara.

Standing quietly like she always did near the doorway , with the same old resolute look in her  eyes. But this time Rani saw something else…Was it pity ?

 

“I don’t need you or anyone” Rani shouted.

“Leave.. …me……. alone”.

 

Tara just smiled and sat at the edge of the bed . She held Rani’s hand and softly murmured  “ Everything’s going to be alright “.

 

“Why me , Tara ? “

 

“Shhh… close your eyes , squeeze them  tight and think you are far away in the land of stars.”

“Do you see them ?” Tara asked.

 

“Yes, I see them …..like little white dots.” Rani said wondrously.

 

This became their wonderful secret in the years to follow . ... they would spend hours dreaming with their eyes squeezed shut. In their dreams, they would be little stars , twinkling and shining , with powers to set everything right.

 

“No one should be without a father “ Rani would say , waving her hands dramatically.

 

“No one should be without a brother “ Tara would quip.

 

Then they would dissolve into girlish giggles. And at night , when the entire courtyard was bathed by moonlight , they would sit silently and seriously , each lost in their thoughts , for there is something very subduing about the stillness of the night.

 

 

 

“I am getting married.” Tara announced shyly.

 

“What????”

“And who is this guy and what does he do?” Rani demanded to know , angry and defiant…for she knew that things would never be the same again.

 

“He works in the mills.”

“He has even been to school.”

“I would be living in Bambai… a very big city ” Tara said proudly

 

“Amma, please ask Shanthi tai to stop this marriage ” Rani  said with adolescent indignation…” Or let me also go with Tara…”

 

“ That is not possible, Rani. Try to understand.”

 

 

“Why me?”

“God always makes me lose the people I love the most…..” Rani cried for days.

“I will never talk to Tara.” Rani vowed .

 

They, Rani and Tara , had made up , of course. Rani even helped her mother pick a beautiful benarasi silk sari for Tara from the bottom drawer of the mahogany cupboard that held all the colorful silks reserved for special festive occasions.

 

 

“Will you forget me ?” Tara asked Rani.

 

“No never.” Rani promised fervently.

 

In the ensuing months , Rani would often ask Shanthi tai.

“How is Tara ? ”

“When is she going to come?”

 

 “She is …fine.” Shanthi tai would say evasively.

 

But Tara never came to meet Rani again.

 

Rani doesn’t exactly remember when she got busy with the business of living .Time is like that. She pushed herself hard to excel in school and then college and finally managed to get a scholarship to study in America.

  

“I am leaving for America, Shanthi tai.”

“I may never come back again…. Just let everyone know this…..Rani said rather testily.

She had hoped , in vain , to hear from Tara.

 

“Amma, if you meet Tara…will you tell her that I will be always there for her if she ever needed me?” Rani implored.

 

“I will.. .. buji…Now hurry  up or Prabhuram will wake up the entire neighborhood with his honking.”

 “And you take good care of yourself and write to me regularly.”

 

 

Chicago and it’s unpredictable weather soon had Rani enthralled. She worked hard to build a good life for herself and was proud of it. She had come a long way….And  now , as she looked out of the window , with the snow falling steadily and surely , covering the entire city in a white blanket, she remembered Tara.  Rani picked up the phone to make her monthly call to India. She was determined to know about Tara...today.

 

 

 “Are you eating properly? When are you coming to India?”

“When are you thinking of …getting married?”

“Did you meet Shiela aunty?”

Rani’s mother’s soft inquiries waft across the room like a gentle breeze.

“I am fine , amma .” Rani says. “Everything’s alright . I will visit you soon and let me first find the right guy. What is the hurry….No….I didn’t get the time….” 

And…”amma …how is Tara?”

There is a complete silence at the other end.

“How is the weather there….is it snowing…..?”

“Amma …Tara….”

Then her mother’s voice crackles …”She is no more, buji.”

“She died while giving birth to her daughter.”

The cold metal of the phone seemed to sear her fingers.

“She had a very sad life. Beatings daily , no money…..but she never let anyone know…” her mother’s voice seemed to echo with a life of it’s own…totally disconnected and unreal.

“Rani…are you there?..”

 

Rani could hear a shrill voice…

 

Race me …..Rani !!!?!!

 

And then.. she was there …running across the courtyard ..too tiny….too far away.

 

The wistful girl who had taught her the magic of stars …was gone forever.

 

The entire room was enveloped in darkness , but for a soft glow from the moon riding high , sneaking in through the open window. It had stopped snowing . Sadness had always made Rani more responsive to nature…. left her washed up with new hope.

 

The whole sky was decorated with shiny beady stars . But there was one particular star which was shining the most. Rani stared at it and smiled .

 

“If I have a  daughter….I will name her Tara, after you.”, She told the shimmering star.

“And in her you shall live once again.”

 

 

By:

Usha  S. Vempati