HOW TO INSTANTLY RECOGNIZE A SARDAR
You should be sure the person is Sardar when he:
gets stabbed in a shoot-out.
sends a fax with a postage stamp on it.
tries to drown a fish in waters.
SARDAR'S BMW
BMW cars were having back mounted engines earlier.
Sardar Hari Singh Purchased a new BMW and was driving back to home very happily. On the way the car broke down.Sardarji came out of the car and opened the bonnet, trying to fix up the problem. He immediately began to sweat.By that time Sardar Gani Singh came by that way and saw our sardarji, totally confused and sweating, trying to search something inside the bonnet, and asked him what was the matter.
Hari Singh: "The BMW people made me fool. They have given me the Car without the engine."
Gani Singh: "Don't worry. I have spare engine in the back of my BMW. You can take that."
TO LOOSE WEIGHT..
The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran 8 kilometers a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos.
At the end of 300 days,Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
What's the problem?"asked the doctor.
"I'm 2400 kms from home."
SPARE BOMB
Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh got fed up with the Indian Govt and decided to blow up the parliament. They took 2 bombs, put them in a suitcase in the front seat of their car and set off.
Hari Singh:"What happens if the bombs blast off now".
Gani Singh:"Don't worry. I have a spare bomb in the back seat"
COUNT THE CHICKEN
Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh walked toward each other on a country road. Hari Singh carried a burlap bag over his shoulder.
Gani Singh:"Hey Bhai,what's in the bag?"
Hari Singh:"Chickens"
Gani Singh:"If I guess how many, can I have one?"
Hari Singh:"You can have both of them."
Gani Singh:"OK, Five?"
ANOTHER COUNT!
Our Sardar is walking down the street and sees a man jumping up and down on a manhole cover yelling "86, 86, 86". He asks the man, "Excuse me, but why are you jumping up and down on this manhole cover and yelling '86, 86, 86'?"
The man says, "Well, I can't tell you that, but if you really want to know, I can let you go under there and find out. He thinks for a moment, then his curiosity gets the better of him, and he says, "Okay."
The man lifts the manhole cover, He steps into the manhole, and the man puts the manhole cover back and starts jumping up and down on it yelling "87, 87,87".
EMPLOYMENT
Our sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column Salary Expected : He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote :Yes
FORM TROUBLE ..
Our sard ultimately gets a job in Bombay. He marries,and within a year has a child. He goes to the local muncipal office and takes the form for the Birth Certificate of his child. He sits under "Gateway of India" and starts to read the form. While filling it,he asks for help from a couple who are on vacation. After some time,he leaves the place.
The next day the couple leave Bombay for Delhi. There they go to "India Gate" and sees our sard filling the same form again.They ask him "Arrey sardarji, aap yahi form vaapas kau baar rahain hai?"
Our sard replies "Arrey kay batauji, form kai neechai leka hai 'Fill in Capital'. "
HEIGHT OF REVENGE
Talking about those days when there were no mosquito repellents and we had to spend sleepless nights. Sardarji was also experiencing the same. Every time he tries to sleep,one mosquito comes and disturbs his sleep with a sound "guooonn, guooonn." He gets very irritated. He tries to cover his ear but the problem remains persistent.
Ultimately he gets up and catches the mosquito in his hand. He is very kind not to shed any blood, yet take revenge.
Happy as he is now starts singing a lullaby and says "so ja machchar, bete so ja". After some time he finds the mosquito falling in to deep sleep in his hands.
HE goes near it and says "Guoooonnnnn, guoooonnnnn."
DOUBLE DECKER BUS RIDE
Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double-decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunately Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush was over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Banta Singh. He saw Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Are Banta Singh! What the heck's goin' on? Why are you so scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ? Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a *driver.*"
SARD THIEF
Banta Singh was shifting his residence. He was packing his belongings. By midnight he was too tired and dozed off with the house door open. A sound woke him up. A thief was packing valuables. Banta Singh found it very amusing; the thief was doing the job for him! "When this smart guy finishes packing, I will catch him". Banta was a hefty guy; so when the burglar finished packing, Banta Singh jumped on him and tied him up. Then he went to the police station and reported the matter.
Police Inspector:"What did you do to the thief?"
Banta Singh:"I tied his hands; you come and collect him".
Police Inspector:"I hope you tied his legs too".
Banta Singh felt a cold feeling in his spine; he had forgotten about the legs. He sat down for a while. Then he cheered up and said, "Inspector Saab, the thief, he will still be there".
Police Inspector:"How do you know"?
Banta Singh:"Well, that fellow is also a Sardarji".
TEA PARTY
Our Sard once, gets a invitation for Tea from Queen Elizabeth. Their he sits along with the Queen and Prince Charles chitchatting. Soon the waiters bring the Tea. Elizabeth keeps her cup in upright position, Charles keeps it in the downward position. Our sard gets confused seeing this and keeps his cup in a diagonal position. The people around get shocked. The head waiter gathers some courage and asks our sard,
Headwaiter: "Sir,why have you kept your cup in such a unconventional position."
Sard: "Why have they kept theirs in such position?"
Headwaiter:"Sir, the Queen wants Tea hence she has kept her cup in a upright position. And the Prince does not want Tea, hence he has kept his cup in a downward direction."
Sard: " ooh! Well then my tea cup position indicates,' Mangtah hai thou dal warna baad mai jaah'!"
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