Daniel Gatley
EARLY 1990's 'MUSIC'
Well, I feel very strongly about this contentious issue. I feel that '2 Unlimited' and 'S-Express' were the most horrific things ever to enter the world of music. My dark, twisted memories of primary school discos only help to echo the distant spasms of shitness. I felt that 'raving to house music in burmuda shorts and sandals' made the world a bad place to live in.
I feel that this excuse for a man is one of those beings that you can some up in a word, 'tit'. He wanders around a garden like Eden, planting a nobus bigusbumus here and a kellyreidum isverynicerus there. His voice sounds like a screbby bastard. Simon overall thinks that Alan is a dickhead.
WOMEN WHO LOOK LIKE GATLEY
As shown on the left, there are millions of women who resemble Gatley in some way, and I just can't process this.
FOLLOWERS OF A 'SPORT' CALLED GOLF
I think that these type of people are nobheads. They all drive around in hired Audis, with the sunroof open to seem 'cool'. They abuse cheaply paid caddies as if they were 18th century chimney sweeps. Also, after every drive, they shout 'fore', even though it barely flies twenty yards. If they hit a half-decent shot, they start bragging to everyone that they hit the world's furthest drive! They ought to piss off.