"Nice guys end up being best friends with the hot girls. Girls always want guys who are daring, and not afraid to make moves on them, not nice guys who don't do anything."
Yeah, one day I was flogging the log, and I was caught. What happened was, while I was shirkin' the gherkin, I got caught by my mum. She said, 'Oh my God, Ihateeveryone - are you choking the chicken?' I kinda stopped, looked at her in the eye, then at my knob, then back at her and said, 'Well - am I beating the bishop? Does it look like I am stroking the salami?' She yelled to my dad, Mr Everyone, 'Get in here quick! Ihate is doing the five knuckle shuffle!' By this time, I was getting a bit tired of slapping the salty sausage, but I wanted to give dad a show - in he comes, seeing me pet the one eyed snake. He says, 'Don't worry, dear - he is just cleaning out the pipes.' I said, 'Damn right, I'm just rubbing my rod, which is GOOD and NATURAL and HEALTHY - HONESTLY!!' Just then I kinda got the squit spasms, dropped my trolleys and coughed my filthy yoghurt. Much fun and hilarity ensued.
links:
Formula for getting CHICKS