If you introduce your wife as "mylady@home.wife"
If your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner
If you use a pocket calculator to divide the bill at a restaurant
If you want an 8X CD-ROM for Christmas
If Dilbert is your hero
If you stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE
If you wear black socks with white tennis shoes (or vice versa)
If your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50
If you have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area
If you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie
If you don't even know where the cover to your personal computer is
If you know the direction the water swirls when you flush
If last Christmas, you got RAM in your stocking
If you are involved in an on-going interactive game over the Internet with someone in Guam
If you thought the concoction ET used to phone home was stupid
If your excuse for not wearing a tie is because it would limit critical bloodflow to your brain
If you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts
If you show disdain for people who use low baud rates
If the thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters your mind
If you are able to argue persuasively that Ross Perot's phrase "electronic town hall" makes more sense than the term "information superhighway," but you don't because, after all, the man still uses hand drawn pie charts
If you would rather get more dots per inch than miles per gallon
If you think it's more fun to take apart a video game than play it
If your favorite TV program is "Bill Nye the Science Guy" and not Baywatch
If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work
If you go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards in the chairs to see how they do the special effects
If your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight
If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush up to the front to fix it
If you have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN stands for
If your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first color TV with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and you grew up thinking that was normal
If you are at an airshow and know how fast the skydivers are falling
If you have never lost a science question in trivial pursuit
If your internet bill is larger than your long distance charges
If people groan at the party when you pick out the music
If you have more friends on the internet than in real life
If your favorite James Bond character is "Q", the guy who makes the gadgets
If you have the internet on speed dial
If you spend more on your home computer than your car
If you know what http:// stands for
If you've ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio
If you can't write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines
If your best friends can only be reached by modem
If you get suicidal when the power is out for more than 10 minutes
If you know the altitude limits for turning on and off electronic equipment on commercial flights
If you order pizza over the internet and pay for it through your home banking software
If you've already calculated how much you make per second
If all your sentences begin with "What if"
If the blinking 12:00 on someone's VCR draws you in like a tractor beam to fix it
If you know that UNIX is an operating system and not ancient male harem slaves
AND THE MOST IMPORTANT WAY TO TELL THAT YOU MAY BE AN ENGINEER ---
If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail
