THE ROOTS OF MY BELIEFS
or
THE SAME BLACK LINE THAT'S DRAWN ON YOU IS DRAWN ON ME

Suggested Background Reading

What is nihilism? - Does a decent job of explaining the philosophy of Nihilism. There are really only minor gripes with this definition.

I am a nihilist. Nihilism is pronouned by taking the word "rye", but changing it from an "R" sound to a "N" sound, the word "hill", and your standard "ism" on the end. Look at the word as ni-hil-ism, instead of nih-il-ism as most people generally do at first.

Despite my parents' best attempts at bringing me up as a Christian child, I never really believed what was preached to me. Call it a curse, but I have an extremely logic-based mind. As such, I see the only truth in the world is the truth of scientific rationalization. "God" has never been scienficially quantified or proven. As such, I cannot believe "He" exists. That would make me Agnostic. However, it goes beyond that. Religious descriptions of "God", no matter which religion, give "God" supernatural powers of one form or another, and these powers always defy a known physical law. Now, extending on the fact that my beliefs hold the only universal truths are those of scientific rationalization, and that this "God" character supposedly breaks these truths, leads me to the only logical conclusion (as I see it), that "God" does not exist. That being proven, I am not Agnostic. The next step beyond Agnosticism is Athiesm.

(Side note: Basic logic dictates that you can not prove that "God" doesn't exist (prove that unicorns don't exist, for example), so the burden of proof falls on proving that "He" does.)

Athiesm is a subset of Nihilism. More specifically, the belief of Athiesm is part of the belief of Nihilism. Athiesm is the belief that there is no "God". Nihilism is the belief that there is nothing except the laws of science. My strong logic-based mind takes me from being an Athiest to being a Nihilist.

The Universe, I believe, runs on a well-defined set of laws, the laws of Physics, that mankind does not and will never fully comprehend the extent of these laws. There is nothing random in the Universe. With a complete knowledge of all the laws of Physics, everything is predictable. Yes, even human behavior is included under the predictability clause. If I had complete knowledge of the laws of physics and the state of the Universe, I could predict with 100% accuracy what you would do next, or say next, no matter how off-the-wall you tried to be. I don't have this knowledge. No being has this knowledge (any being possessing such knowledge would undoubtedly be considered a "God"). Without this knowledge, the Universe appears random. There is no free will, only the progression of time as dictated by scientific law (very similar to chaos theory: a hurricane caused by the flapping of a butterfly's wings and the like).

Oh, how often that previous statement is countered with the jab, "so you're just a soulless pawn in the Universe. You don't exist". As if this misguided attempt at deflating my ego would make me back down on my belief. I always expect this statement, and I always hear it (even from the most learned and well-read individuals I've conversed with), but it never ceases to amaze me. The flaw in this arguement is that it is based on the fact that somehow my belief boils down to "the Universe doesn't mean anything, but I do". It's not like that at all. I've already come to terms with the fact that what I do is essentially meaningless in the grand scheme of things. There is no ego to deflate. To this attack, my response is yes, I am. My behavior is completely dictated by physical law. And guess what? So is yours.

And so, I'm asked, why do I even bother? If everything is essentially worthless anyway, why bother with it at all? The answer to this might be hard to understand if you're a non-Nihilist, but the answer is definate and clear-cut. Nothing makes a difference in the span of the Universe, however, my lifespan is nowhere near the span of the Universe. Things that myself and others do have definate effects on the current, and they may effect human life for years or centuries to come. Millions of years from now, it won't matter what was done today at all, but my lifespan doesn't stretch that far. I have an interest in what effects my lifespan. Living irrationally and having compassion and moral values doesn't change the grand scheme of the Universe, but it does make my existance happier, and since I equate happy as good, that choice has been made for me through whatever atomic chemistry my body was assembled with: Live irrationally to an extent, because otherwise I'd be miserable, and that would not be good.

Spending every waking moment thinking about how nothing I do is of my own choice isn't good either. My day-to-day goings-on aren't really affected by it. It's just go with the flow... whatever's going to happen is going to happen, and I can't take action to stop it, because if I could, what was going to happen would turn out to be not what was going to happen, and then what would I have done anyway? I haven't changed anything, because with the previously mentioned God-powers, that course of events would have been already forseen. Don't confuse this with apathy, because I'll still try to influence what I, in my limited knowledge of how things work, predict would happen without taking action. My irrational attempts to change the future aren't a point against my beliefs, in fact, they support the idea.

And so, if I can live irrationally, why not go full tilt and be religious? Simply: you can't "pretend" that "God" exists. Sorry. Anyone religious knows that you're supposed to have real faith and believe in your heart and all that mumbo-jumbo. I can't. I also see the restrictions religion and churches place upon people's behavior as pointless and burdensome. Why would I want to make myself unhappy for no real reason?

Interested in intelligent discourse regarding religion and/or Nihilism? Feel free to e-mail me. If you're thinking of trying to "convert" me, don't bother. In fact, closed-minded persons are not welcome to e-mail me. Conversation is healthy. Preaching is not.

(Oh, and by the way, and I only include this because quite a few people didn't understand the humor in it, if you visited the "What is Nihilism" link at the top of this page, realize the bit about not eating pork and praying to Mecca is a joke. Nihilists don't pray to Mecca or not eat pork.)

More Nihilistic Links You're never satisfied, are you? Always need your damn links, don't you? I hope you're satisfied!!

Nihilism Online - Not exactly technically accurate in their definition of Nihilism, but still has good points and is funny nonetheless. Casey's Nihilism Page - More explanation of the Nihilist Philosophy, including a look at related viewpoints (some of which I don't personally buy into) and the "layers" of Nihilism.