Mom Says Hang Up

(digeredoo, etc.)

The Ballad of King Mu of Chou
 

King Mu of Chou sat on a throne
 FUCK YOU, KING MU OF CHOU
His Magician friend found him all alone
 FUCK YOU, KING MU OF CHOU
He said "c'mon Mu, come take my hand
 FUCK YOU, KING MU OF CHOU
i'll take you to a maaagical land"
 FUCK YOU, KING MU OF CHOU

(organ)

How now, King Mu of Chou?
Get up from your throne
What magic awaits you
What a dumb journey is in store

Y'don't go so far as to leave your chair
But you can do a lot from just right there
You can fly like a hovercraft hoverin' above
The world we know you're the king we love

Magical journey..
Under the guidence of..
Yoooour bitchin' magician friend.

Hey, so maybe he ain't got the virtue it takes
To stare the purest pure's face in the face
But let me tell you something you will always be
Number one to my eastern thoughts and me.

He's a bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad king
He's a bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad king.

They say sometimes good things happen to bad people..

Oh, King Mu of Chou
Your magical journey
Journey of love
???

He's a bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad king
He's a bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad king

(spoken word, multiple voices)
 ..and a good time was had by all.

You're my motherfuckin' brother I like to be with you
 FUCK YOU, KING MU OF CHOU
You're my motherfuckin' brother I'll bid you adeiu
 FUCK YOU, KING MU OF CHOU
You a goddamn ho, yeah that's for sho'
 FUCK YOU, KING MU OF CHOU
..i'd sooner give my love to Satan above
 FUCK YOU, KING MU OF CHOU

I see you walking down the streets of Oil City
You and that.. motherfucking child of Sosland
You said you married him for his money
But I know that you're in love with him
Cuz I've seen the way you look at his moustache.

Die, Soslands, die.

Now the sky to me is blood and the Soslands are to blame.
And I am not afraid to kill for justice.
And I am not afraid to die
at the hands
of the SOZ.

Die, Soslands, DIE.

You used to say I was the only one
I used to think you did not deserve to die
Who'd have thought the SOZ would come between us
Now there's nothing left to do but loose the killer bees within
your house.

Die, Soslands, Die.

One day you'll wake up in his arms
And you will wonder where I am
And as the bees descend upon you you may realize
I've been outside your bedroom window waiting for this moment
to throw the hive.

(lyrics incomplete)
I need time to find my shoes
Gotta get home and eat my lunch
Because the world will soon be turned to pudding
It's your fault
Thanks a bunch.
I need energy to ?
My back is broke, my heart is broke..

..?
It's the saddest fate of all.
It's the saddest fate of all.

I need time to find my shoes
Gotta get home and eat my lunch
Because the world will soon be turned to pudding
It's your fault
(choir)
Thanks a bunch.

In a Chair (catfarm dub)

Sometimes I feel happy
Sometimes I feel bad
Sometimes I sit
In
a Chair.

It may make you angry
It may make you mad
Don't sit in my chair.
Chair is not for you.

Sometimes I feel happy, sometimes I feel bad
Sometimes I sit
In a Chair.

A Chair.

(instrumental)

I sit in my chair
Almost every single day
Twenty-four seven

(beats, beeps)

In a chair  (in my chair)
Here I am
Here I am, sittin'
Sittin' here
In a Chair.
Here I am
Sittin' here
In a Chair
Here I am
Sittin' here
In a Chair
Sittin' here
In a Chair
Here I am
Sittin' in my chair
Sittin' here
In my Chair.
In a Chair
In a Chair
In a Chair
in a
Chair
Chair
Chair
Sittin' in a Chair
I'm sittin' in a Chair
Sittin' in my Chair
In my Chair
Oh, here I'm sittin' in
oh, in a Chair
In a Chair
In my Chair
I'd like to sit here
I'm sittin' in a Chair
In a Chair
(I'm sittin' in a Chair)
I'm sittin' in a Chair
Here

All the Chocolate in the World

(lyrics incomplete)
All the chocolate in the world
It wouldn't bring you back to me
And I'm rowing with an axe
Upon the grinding sea

I worked in a candy shop
I caught your eye as you were leaving
Oh, semisweet miracles, my dear
You know stealin' is believin'

CHORUS:
And I bet your jealous now
Jealous of me and all my chocolate
I've got all the chocolate in the word
And I bet your jealous now
Jealous of me and all my chocolate
Oh, I've got it all.

And I can never go to sleep
Cuz oh, all the caffiene
Oh, if lonliness were a kingdom
Well I would be the queen.

I need love, love, love
But I've got thirteen calories
And I'm fat with chocolate
And ugly with oldness

CHORUS (kinda)

..?
..?
And oh, oh semisweet miracles
..? oh sweet miracles
From me.
Couldn't tell if it was ironic
Or bizzare.

And I'm stuck in the Arctic Circle
And you, you ran off with Count Chocula (and some penguins)
That Mummy stole my chocolate
What am I going to do?

CHORUS

And I, I know God hates me
Upon me the angels frown
There is no room in heaven for all this chocolate
All this chocolate that I found..

Elliot Glenn

Elliot Glenn
The boy you love to hate
Elliot Glenn
I do not appreciate
Your opinions
Yeah
Your opinions
Yeah

Fuck you, Elliot Glenn
You were ,fat now you are thin
Fuck you, Elliot Glenn
You were fat..

Elliot Glenn
The boy you love to hate
Elliot Glenn
I do not appreciate
Your kisses
Yeah
Your kisses
Yeah Yeah Yeah

Fuck you, Elliot Glenn
You were fat, now you are thin
Fuck you, Elliot Glenn
You were fat, now you are
THIN!

Continental Breakfast

"Sir?"
"I'm dreaming about Nick Nolte, go away!"
"Sir, I have a Continental Breakfast for you."
"I don't wanna get up!"
"You ordered a Continental Breakfast, sir.  It's got ham, and eggs.. well, no eggs.  It's actually just coffee.  Motherfucker!  Open the motherfucking door!  You wanted a fucking wakeup call!  I've got your fucking breakfast here!"
("suck it in" x infinite, organ)
Coffee!
Coffee!
Coffee!
Coffee!
Coffee!
Coffee!
Coffee!
Coffee!
Coffee!
Coffee!
Coffee!
Coffee!
Coffee!

Coffee!
Coffee!
Coffee!
Coffee!
Coffee!
Coffee!
Coffee!
Coffee!
Coffee!
Coffee!
Coffee!
Coffee!
Coffee!
Coffee!
Coffee!
Coffee!
Coffee!
Coffee!

..gracious.

This Salad Contains Ham

this salad contains ham.

givin' it up for the poops and the wiggles!
givin' it up for the poops and the wiggles!
givin' it up for the poops and the wiggles!
hey, the wiggles and the poops!

It Was a Robot Producing Planet Like Any Other

It was a robot producing planet like any other my brother
do you comprehend what I say?
The pendulum swings back and forth motherfucker
The pendulum swings both ways.

Oh what a process and what a delight
Building up buildings, and buildin' up a fight
Robots every fuckin' where you go
All eyes made of glass, lightbulb for a nose.

Working in factories, polishing cars
On the public transportation, playing guitars
You don't appreciate what robots do for you
You don't appreciate the pain that robots go through

Hey.. robots have feelings, too.

Y'all sittin' back in an lawnchair back in the backyard of your modest suburban home
Sippin' the afternoon away
Yeah, kickin' it back when robots attack.

Land of the free!  Home of the Brave!  Land of the Rennegade Robot Slaves!

Forced 'em to work and clean and cook
but whatcha gonna do now, the shoe is on the other foot
Lose your identity, lose your name
Just another motherfucker with a ball and chain.

Yeah, their souls are dark and twisted
Their electric brains are fast and ?
You wanna push your face in the dirt?
Yeah, robotic overlords wanna make your hurt!
Yeah!  Talkin' bout when robots rule the earth!

So get down!  on your knees to pray
But you can't give your soul to Jesus today
'Cuz the Sea of Christ it drowned
When the new gods came to town.

So let me reiterate the point of this song
I like robots, don't get me wrong
But men and robots don't get along so well
And I'll see you in hell
When the robot revolution comes full swell.

It was a robot producing planet like any other my brother
do you comprehend what I say?
The pendulum swings back and forth motherfucker
The pendulum swings both ways.

It was a robot producing planet like any other
It was a robot producing planet like any other
It was a robot producing planet like any other
It was a robot producing planet like any other
It was a robot producing planet like any other
It was a robot producing planet like any other
It was a robot producing planet like any other
It was a robot producing planet like any other
It was a robot producing planet like any other
It was a robot producing planet like any other
It was a robot producing planet like any other
It was a robot producing planet like any other
..aaaaaah!

Honeythunder

(lyrics incomplete)
Build me a house in the forest
Build it of wood, tar and bones
Build it eight stories high
Build it a room for my thrones.

Honeythunder!
Honeythunder!
Honeythunder!

Build me a house of bone tar and wood
Climb to the top with arms raised high
Call the thunder into my realm
..?

Honeythunder!
Honeythunder!
Honeythunder!

Honeythunder!  King of the Vikings.

We Want Hot Water

We want hot water now
We want hot water now

And
We need to wash some dishes
We need to disinfect some wounds
We need to remove some paint from some mistakenly painted surfaces

We need to take a bath
We need to take a bath
We need to take a bath

And so dear friend, you now can see why..
why..
why..

We want hot water
We want hot water
We want hot water
We want hot water
We want hot water
We want hot water
We want hot water
We want hot water

'Tis the Season (burn with me)

(lyrics incomplete)

Horses in Church

(lyrics incomplete)

Horses in Church!
Horses in Church!
(more)

Lose Weight and Ride the Elevators

Lose weight and ride the elevators
I want to live on the thirty-second floor

Spikes Go Up; Man Falls Down

Cats are smarter than dogs
Planes are faster than railroad trains
Sun beats earth
Earth beats moon
Snow is colder than rain.

Circles are rounder than squares
Fat people eat more than normal people do
Bomb beats tank
Tank beats gun
But nobody's better than you.

Hammer more useful with nails
Rodeos safer with rodeo clowns
Pants on first
Then put on shoes
Smile less hostile than frown.

Bacon is better with eggs
Eskimos walk easier with snowshoes on
Spikes go up
Man falls down
It feels like shit when you're gone.

..and it feels like shit when you're gone.

Share a Secret

(instrumental)
(some yelling, screaming, strange noises)
(drowning noise)
(spring)
(trumpet)
(slide whistle)
Stop it!
1-2-3-4!
Ready, set!
Aaaah!
3-4-5-6-7-8!
Ready, set!
(flute)
I can't breathe!
(slide whistle)
Hello?
Hello, how are you?
Fuck you!
I don't care how you are!
I don't care about you!
My name is..
My first brilliant song is called..
Ow!
Feed me!
I'm over here now.
Goddamnit.
Oooh!  Oh!
Oh!
Ah!
(trumpet)
"get out of here"
Easy?  Easy?
Easy my ass.
It is a dangerous situation.
What?
This one's called FUCK OFF MOTHERFU..
1-2-3!
(trumpet)
(thump)
Aaaah!
Be careful!
What?
I can't hear you!
Oh my god!  Everyone be quiet!
Stop it!

Dip Boys, Dip the Oars (sha-na-na)

Oh my scoobie doobie honey
My enchanted battle axe
I have a long beard
But when I'm at sea away from you
Something just ain't right

Sha-na-na-na-na-na-na..
Sha-na-na-na-na-na-na..
Sha-na-na-na-na-na-na..
Sha-na-na-na-na-na-na..
Sha-na-na-na-na-na-na..
Sha-na-na-na-na-na-na..
Sha-na-na-na-na-na-na..

"na, na, na"

My truck!