My friend Josh and I were going to make a road trip to Ohio I think. We figured out the expenses, and it came out to over $1,000. So when I told him that, he refused to pay his half. I was stuck with the whole bill!

We got to Ohio, and we found that my friend Chelsea had been kidnapped by this mean old man who was dying. He had a procedure to put his head on a healthy young body so that he could survive. He had Chelsea, and was planning on using her to prolong his life. The plans to his machine and the key to getting into his room were locked up in the kitchen. I tried and tried to get in there, but I couldn't do it. I found out that his son was an expert lock picker, so I found him and convinced him that something he wanted was in the kitchen. He picked the lock, messed around in the kitchen, and finally left. So after he was gone, I got in there and looked around but I couldn't find anything. I was getting really worried, because it was just a matter of time before he killed her.

Christmas vacation came, and Chelsea got to go home for a while. I talked to her and told her that I was frantically trying to find a way to save her. She said it was okay, because she wasn't going to be killed anytime soon. I asked her why, and she said that she had been, um, pleasing the old man, and he wouldn't kill her because then he would have no one to "play with." I then enjoyed Christmas at home. My dad was telling me about some workers out on the dock by our house. He said that one of them was The Incredible Hulk and the other was the Bulk, an orange version of the Hulk. I went out and asked them if they could help me save Chelsea. They said that they could, so we took off for Ohio.

We got there, and quickly the Hulk and the Bulk broke in and stole the machine. It didn't go unnoticed, though, and the old man's guards took off after us. I was in the lead on a little dirt bike, and the Hulk and Bulk were following me in a boat on wheels. The guards were behind them in another boat on wheels. We were all driving along on winding roads, and eventually we ended up in England. The sun was setting, so normally the Hulk and Bulk would have a tough time seeing me, but thankfully my bike had a rear light that would light up every time I pedalled. So they were able to keep track of me that way. I got to a hill and started coasting down, and as I was going down I realized that by coasting, I wasn't pedalling! I heard the Hulk scream out "Neal! Where are you?" I yelled, but they had fallen far enough behind that they couldn't hear me. Then he yelled "Go out in the ocean and take a big left and go until you hit Florida. We'll meet you there." Then they took a sharp turn and went out into the water with the guards in hot pursuit. I felt so hopeless, because I couldn't get to Florida on a dirt bike! (even though somehow I got from Ohio to England on that same bike...)

I pedalled around on the path for a while longer, and got to a wooded area where some kids were playing with a little animal. It was a cute little puppy, but they were convinced it was a seal. I was like "That's not a seal!" and they said "Yeah it is." So I decided to talk to the puppy and see what it really was. After a nice conversation with it, I discovered that it was an albino mutant otter. The kids asked me why it was so sluggish, and I then asked it. It told me that it needed to get back in water before it died. Luckily, we were right beside a creek, so I decided to take the mutant otter down to the water to get him healthy again. From the bridge, there weren't many routes down to the water for a barefoot person like me, but after some searching I found a clearing. I took him down to the water, and I noticed that it was brown and bubbly. I looked over and realized that this was sewer water coming from my old babysitter Helen's house. Nevertheless, the otter needed water, so I put him in. He sunk to the bottom. I asked my cousin Mike, who had conveniently showed up, what I should do. He told me that if the otter sunk, it was because he was so sick that he could no longer survive, so saving him would do no good. Even though he was right, I still felt bad because I sent him directly to his death. But a few moments later, he floated back to the surface and started swimming downstream. He waved goodbye and swam away.

My work there was done, so I climbed back up onto the bridge and got up on top of the frame. There was a railroad bridge nearby, so I jumped over to it and climbed up on its frame. A train came by, so I got on top of one of the cars and rode on it. It stopped by a big building that had one side open to the air, so I jumped out onto it. It was ten stories high, with one room on each floor. There were platforms in front of the openings with stairways leading up to each one so that you could get into the rooms.

I was on the fifth floor, and it was vacant so I decided to stay there. It was nice and peaceful. I looked over in the corner, and there was a jukebox style thing where you could listen to Gary Numan live or in muzak style. I listened to a live version of "Cars" and just sat back and relaxed. I felt really grimy, so I decided to take a shower. I looked all around, and no one was anywhere to be seen, so I just stripped down and jumped down to the 4th level where there was a shower. It wasn't exactly a perfect example of privacy, but it was good enough. It was like showering in a voting booth actually, except it was a shower and not a voting booth. Well, when I got done, I noticed that some people had showed up. I was kind of worried, because I didn't have any clothes or a towel with me, and I wasn't about to go walking naked through this crowd of people. But up ahead in the crowd I saw Kelli. I yelled to her, "Kelli! Can you bring me a towel?" She turned and said "No! This is the towel that my mother gave me just for my use and my use only!" Then she walked off. Some other girl walked up to me and asked "Do you need something?" I told her that I had no clothes and I needed to get back up to my room. I then asked her if I could borrow a long shirt or some shorts or something. She said that she could loan me a shirt, but she needed some sort of collateral so that she could be sure that I'd bring it back. I was naked in the booth, so I didn't exactly have anything on me (literally) to give her. She understood, and then said "Well, then give me your e-mail address, and when you bring back my shirt, I'll give back your e-mail address." I agreed to those terms, so she got out a notepad and a pencil and I started telling her. I said "0022" and she wrote that down. Then I said "3132" and she wrote 3300123 and I said, "No, it's 00223132," and she wrote 002200223132. Frustrated, I said "How about you give me the paper, and I'll write it down." She did, and I wrote it down, so she went and got me this dinky yellow shirt. I put it on, and had to walk funny while pulling it down so that it would cover my private area. I got back up to my room and changed and then took her the shirt back.

When I came back to my room, the phone rang and it was my mom. She said I needed to get home right away and take people out to the beanfield to get to work. I got home somehow, and when I came in the house, my friend Anne was there along with my friend Josh, who left me in Ohio earlier. We got into the truck and drove out to the beanfield. It was muddy, so I stopped along the road. We got out and walked towards the beanfield and saw my dad and someone else walking towards us from the field. It turned out that it was Emma. She and my dad had walked the whole field, so Anne and Josh and I had nothing to do. So we all went back home.

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