I was driving into Auburn and I turned off the highway after a block or so and parked my car. For some reason I am reminded of this girl Ashley, who was in my class, yet I don't remember her actually being there. I got out of the car and went back to the trunk and got out a hand-made drawing book. Brent, another classmate, had recommended that I keep my drawings collected and that I should have them and a bunch of blank pages (for new drawings) stapled together like a book. I flipped through these drawings, recognizing all of them (even though none were from real life) and then thinking "I wonder if that one is in here..." As I flipped, I realized all of them were from last summer--I hadn't added a single drawing in almost a year.

I got to the last drawing in the book and it was the one I had been anticipating. I drew a colorful abstract picture, and at Brent's suggestion, added the words to a poem I had written into the drawing. Then I immediately flashed back to when I was making the drawing. On the left-hand side of the open book (on the back of the previous drawing) I had the poem written, and on the right, I had the drawing, except it wasn't the same anymore. It was of a young man staring straight ahead, as if directly through the "cameraman's" head. He was clutching his chest and he was dripping wet. Behind him was a darkened window looking out onto a rainy night. You could see the water running down the pane. It was extremely realistic, and NOT the abstract one that I saw in the "future."

As I was looking at this, I was sitting on my parents' waterbed with Brian McConnell, another friend of mine from my class. I was trying to decide if I should write the entire poem on the picture, or selectively quote it. Brian was choosing parts of the poem that emphasized the rain, but I was telling him that we didn't need those parts--the picture showed plainly that it was raining. I wanted to emphasize what had just happened to him--but only hint towards it. Leave it open ended.

Then the flashback stopped and I was back at my car. I got in and drove north and then west and south so that I looped back by the swimming pool. I drove by slowly to see if there was anyone I knew, but I didn't recognize anyone. Then I thought I heard someone yell my name. I couldn't tell who did it, but I was pretty sure they said "Neal" so I got out and walked towards the fence. As I approached the fence, I noticed that my mom was walking my two sisters towards me, only she didn't realize I was there. She was looking down, focusing her attention on them, because they were being coerced like toddlers. I yelled out "Mom!" and she looked up at me with this huge look of joy and amazement. For some reason, we were both reacting to each other as if we had both died in a plane wreck or something yet were still alive. She said "Your father is over there" and I was like "Dad came to the POOL?" and it was true. Over on the other side, my dad was bending over, picking up his towel. He came over, and in typical Dad fashion, expressed no sort of emotion. He asked me "Were you standing out on the street down there," pointing east, where I had been standing on the street just like he said. "No," I replied. I don't know why I lied. I guess maybe I thought he'd be mad if he knew I was standing out on the street.

So I left, and went back "home," wherever that was. It was an old apartment with a wooden floor and plastery white walls. I don't think I ever actually saw him, but I had the impression that I was living with Brian, my roommate from 96-97. The phone rang, and it was Beth, my friend Josh's girlfriend. I started talking to her, which was odd, because I don't really like her. But Josh wasn't there yet so I kept her on the line until he got there.

She was telling me how she told this guy George that she loved him right in front of her mother. Then she asked me how that made me feel. It was weird, because as she was talking about this, she was sitting right there on the couch with me, looking right at me, but we were still talking to each other on the phone. I asked her to repeat the question, because I didn't understand why she was asking me this. I didn't know any George. So she told me again what she did, and asked me how it made me feel that I did that. I told her I didn't really care. If she loves George, then let the George know it. So then we were talking about nonsense stuff, wasting time until Josh arrived.

I thought to myself "I really need to get rid of her. I should tell her that it's time she talked to Josh." But then _she_ said "Why don't you let me talk to Josh." So I said "Good plan." So that just kind of magically made Josh appear. I was standing in front of the door, so when he walked in, it smacked me. I was like "Aah! You see how he treats me?" but jokinly. So I gave the phone to him, but it wasn't Josh. It was Chandler, this guy that lives down the hall from me. So he didn't belong there at all, yet he totally meshed into the whole "he is my roommate" scenario. He walked past the tv on into the kitchen area, which was totally dark.

I looked down at the tv and "Sub Rosa" by Gene came on. I was like "cool," because I happen to like Gene. Then Jeffery, this kid from my German class who was sitting in a chair beside the tv, asked "You like this, huh?" First off, I thought nothing of the fact that he wasn't Brian, Josh, or Chandler. Secondly, even though I think Chandler was still in the kitchen talking, I just reacted as though Jeffery were my roommate. So I said "Yeah, I like 'em a lot" as I walked across the room. But then I thought "HOLD ON! That's a GENE video and I'm not glued to the TV!!" So I ran back to the set and watched the rest of the video. I was like "Why is this on MTV? I didn't think they (Gene) were going to release this song, and definitely not so soon after 'Where are they Now?'" Then the video ended, and it listed the name as 'What Have We Done?' or something like that, but I didn't think much of it. Then there was a little MTV promo clip that said "MTV: Good enough for an Olympian." I was like GROAN!

Then Jeffery/Chandler/Josh/Brian (the one in the chair--I'm not sure who he was at this time--I'm leaning towards Brian) started fast forwarding through the commercial. I was like "Hey! You have this on a tape? How long have you had this taped?" and I don't remember his answer.

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