1.  Find a sandy beach.  As the morning high tide is going out, pick a good spot and mark the high tide point.

2.  Dig a moat.  Pile sand in the center for constructing the castle.

3.  Carve out the cathedral with grand towers and spires.

4.  Make some houses below for the working folk.  Give some lucky family a cute dovecote.

5.  Build a wall (fortified!).

6.  Don't forget to gaze at the sunset.  Crowds have been gathering to view your marvelous creation.

7.  Place candles all around.  Careful, 'cause the wind can blow them out.

8.  Watch your boyfriend juggle sticks with flaming ends.

9.  Wait patiently and calmly as the tide comes in and washes much of your creation out to sea.

 

10. (Optional) Contest parking ticket.