when i told him i liked him, he said it wasn't mutual, that it's not you, it's me. i cried.it was true.
we'd have made a disasterous couple anyway. but we make terrific friends. he's not the one, that is, my bestest friend in the whole wide world (i've yet to find that person), but good enough friends that i can trust him with things i trust very few people with. and i've only known him for 3 months. i keep throwing the fact that he rejected me back at him, and although he doesn't like it, he takes it all in stride. we tease each other all the time and are incredibly facetious around each other; brad says i'm the perfect foil for him. andréa says we're adopting each other's mannerisms, which is true to a certain extent; he's taken to saying "le sigh" and i say "ack". grr...
a lot of people on my floor think we spend way too much time together for people who "are just friends"; especially since i used to be in love with him, they're afraid i'll get hurt. they're only looking out for me.
i like to think that i'll live with john next year, but i don't want to bring it up since i find it rather presumptous of me. what if he doesn't want to live with me? it's a rather awkward situation...
maybe this whole john thing is my petty stab at trying to hurt someone. pushing my friendship with john just for jealousy's sake...
don't get me wrong, i adore john and think he's an extra special marvy person, but knowing myself, i never do know.
all's well that ends well; john and i are excellent friends now, with no lingering resentment harboured on my part. he even put up with me yammering on and on and on about jacob, although i could tell he was gritting his teeth every single second; i can be such a chatterbox. we're not living together, although we've decided that if we did, we'd have a beautiful house.
