gripe of the decade: sexists.
i recently emailed out to 13 males, asking them why the lack of knickers on females is exciting or intriguing. most were nice enough, responding in polite and often humorous answers. somehow, a group of 4 males, incidentally all students of the university of calgary, with the exception of one who is in attendance at the university of british colombia, became rather sexist and bigoted in their views. they insulted females by saying that they were incapable of logical thought, and that they couldn’t drive, the usual sexist bullshit. they also criticized my choice of handle du jour, which was “kiki the titty chick”. most friends found that amusing, but the aforementioned sexists took it literally and said it was un-p.c. when did they get so politically correct anyway? if they were so concerned about being p.c., they wouldn’t have insinuated that females were inferior in the first place. even if i did start it, one would believe they would be mature enough not to perpetrate such prejudiced views. but their lack of judgement isn’t what this is all about. i digress. anyway, i emailed them informing them that i no longer wanted to partake in such a insulting forum, being the sole female member. they replied that I had started it with my un-p.c. use of the word “chick”. i believe that it is only un-p.c. if it is used as a term of degredation, not endearment as i use it. the topic i intitiated was about the lack of knickers, not an open invitation to insult females. so in a rather cutting mood, i decided to insult ex #3’s “abilities”.
you should all understand that ex #3 is extremely insecure about having sex. to quote directly from past emails, he wrote: “Honestly though, I think I'm scared of actually performing the act itself. What if I don't
"perform"? Or go for long enough? Or satisfy the girl I'm making love to?”. so quite predictably, i knew he’d take it very, very personally. i can be rather cutting when i want to. so he warned me that i might be insulted, then he told me, quite concisely, to “fuck off”. ooh, i’ve never been so insulted in my life. so while i’m still in a hateful mood, i’ll go into the intricate details of his insufficiencies. well, maybe not too intricate since i don't want the poor boy to slit his wrists like he's so often threatened to do.
for someone of his height, which i believe to be 6’, he’s rather short, if you catch my meaning. i’ve never seen it in broad daylight, but i believe that’s why humans have the sense of touch. ex #1, who was about my height (5’4”, maybe?) was just great. perhaps that’s why he became the metre stick (no pun intended) against which i measure all males. males measure against each other, anyway. as a general rule, ex #3 wears breifs, a pair of shorts, and then jeans over top. in the first place, breifs aren’t very condusive to air circulation; that’s one of the reasons why boxers are better than breifs. add to that two layers of clothing and the fact that this boy was getting rather warm. he wasn’t smelling as fresh as daisies, which, incidentally, ex #1 did. the smell was one of sweat, sperm, and smegma. not strong but rather unpleasant nonetheless. it tasted even worse. i gave up after 7 seconds. don’t ask.
since i’m already into my eyeballs, i might as well go all the way. i don’t believe he’ll be able to perform, at least, to my satisfaction. he is so incredibly anxious about having sex that i don’t think he’d last long. in fact, he’s so anxious that my friend hetti believed he went out with me just so that he could fuck me. glad he never did. he’d probably be very nervous, ruining the atmosphere and scaring his poor victim away. and even if he did get to get it in, he’d probably be asking her “how is it? am i hurting you? does it feel good?” the whole time, which would drive the poor girl insane. how is he supposed to hurt her if she can’t even feel it? and his approach...don’t even get me started on that one. i’ll just say that he’s so desperate to have sex, that he becomes a sappy, drippy romantic. he apologizes for everything in case he upsets the girl, therefore losing his opportunity to score. he tries to make everything right to get into her good books. heaven forbid if he was the least bit inattentive.
let’s dissect the reason why he’s desperate. i think it’s cos he thinks there’s something wrong with being a 19 year old male virgin who's never kissed a girl before the age of 18, still living at home with his ‘rents, not having a car, and being dependent on his family for tuition money. he’s also interested in doing drugs, or anything else deemed “cool”. he is obsessed with the pumpkins and the simpsons, which are so mainstream that he runs a very low risk of being outcast. in fact, i don't remember anything about him that was particularly distinctive, except for the way his mouth curved. you should have seen how proud he was when he told me he had his first puff of dope. “what is e?”, he asked. if you have to ask, you shouldn’t know.
when he reads this he’ll probably be so pissed. no, correction, fucking pissed. yeah, well, i’m in a pretty fucking pissed mood myself. i don’t have the time to deal with sexists anyway. my father thinks i’m better off without him; who needs a conservative, fascist, bigoted boyfriend who thinks gays are wrong anyway?
i've slept on this whole thing and i don't regret it. i hope this gives him some sort of complex, or adds to the one which he already has. i'm really quite grateful that i had the insight to break up with him, cos now that i see what he's really like, i am definitely better off without him. me, a hardcore women's rights chickie, and a redneck? what-ever. he even thinks being called a redneck is a compliment.
bottom line: if you hurt me, i'll hurt you 10 times worse. i'll hate you for the rest of my life. i can hold a grudge for a long time. nothing is ever trivial in my books.
we made up, although we're both far from speaking terms.
