Great Lines

Consider the writers who have worked on John Constantine: Hellblazer. Alan Moore. Jamie Delano. Neil Gaiman. Garth Ennis. Eddie Campbell. Paul Jenkins. The first four are already big names in the comics industry, and my money is on the last two becoming pretty large themselves. The point is, that Mr. Constantine has had some pretty decent writers giving him some damn good lines. All except Mr. Delano it seems. Delano seems to be an incredibly good writer when it comes to dark, brooding introspection, but his style does not lend itself to the witty repartee that JC has become rather well known for. I may of course be wrong. My Delano issues are limited to #1-8 and #39. The point being, if you think I've missed your personal favourites, let me know, and if I think they're decent, I'll include them on the list. Cheers.

• John Constantine: "Now I know you're pulling my wire."
  Ray Monde: "Oooh, it'd be nice, but --"#3
• Constantine: "Silk Cut okay?"
  Matt: "No Camels?"
  Constantine: "Shit, I'm beginning to see why you're here."#41
• Cook: "You've got some bloody nerve, mate, sitting here for two hours and only buying a cup of tea! You haven't even drunk it!"
  Constantine: It's gone cold, hasn't it? You don't expect me to drink cold tea, do you?"
  Cook: "Well, it's bound to go cold if you leave it for two hours, isn't it?"
  Constantine: "No chance of a refill then?"#41
• Ellie: "You can either try repenting your sins..."
  Constantine: "My sins? I doubt it, Ellie. The good lord would probably just speak down from on high, saying 'Pull the other one, John me boy'."#43
• Constantine: "...considering what it is that you actually are, you're pretty decent."
  Ellie: "I don't think so, John. I think I'm just polite."#43
• The First of the Fallen: "You have but minutes left, Constantine. And they will not be pleasant. Excrutiating, I would imagine."
  Constantine: "As bad as ... a gut of holy water, eh...?"#45
• Constantine: "Up yours."#45
• It's not really a quote, but check out the word search on page 12 of issue #51. Here's a list of words in it: sodomite, molest, anal, abattoir, offal, pant, satan, sadism, (f)oetus, orgasm, semen, vagi(na).
• Kit: "Tell you what, we can give it a try -- but I'll kick your arse for you the first time something goes bump in the night, okay?"
  Constantine: "Even if it's me?"#52
• Constantine (to Prince Andrew): "And I'd strongly advise you to keep keep your eyes open, because you've just snorted your uncle's ashes"#53
• Constantine (right after a nasty seance, to Holly): "Thanks for your help, kiddies. And when you've a minute, luv -- cup of tea, eh? Milk, two sugars. Ta."#53
• Kit: "What's that?"
  Constantine: "Ah, we call 'em suitcases. Don't know what you paddies would say."
  Kit: Ho Ho Ho. You talking to me or chewing a brick, wee lad?"
  Constantine: "'Cos I lose all me teeth either way."#54
• Danny Drake: "I really hope I can trust you --"
  Constantine: "Oh, for sure. Ask anyone."#56
• Constantine (to Chas): "Just the once, though. I'm not having you turning into my trusty sidekick or something."
  Kit: "Quick, Chas -- to the Piss-Upmobile!"#57
• Ellie: "What you've done to him, it can't be forgotten."
  Constantine: "Dunno why. I hardly raised a finger against him..."#59
• Constantine: "Don't they have rubbers in heaven?"#60
• Constantine: "Shit...! Forgot to give him the finger."#61
• Constantine: "And there's just a tiny murder in the night."#62
• Header: "Butcher's better off deid, mind. He pissed off Mike Adams las year and goat his dick cut off... The left him with an inch tae pee with though..."
  Constantine: "Old Adams always was a big softy."#63
• Janine (Bartender): "Good news, John?"
  Constantine: "Yeah."
  Janine: "Fancy a little celebration?"
  Constantine: "Aw, great! janine says it's drinks on the house, lads!"#64
• Charlie Patterson: "I thought it was meant to be impossible to sneak up on you Constantine. Losing your touch."
  Constantine: "Yeah. Me dickless little shit detector must be on the blink."#65
• The King of Vampires: "Friend of yours?"
  Constantine: "Must be. He's dead."#69
• Peter: "Jesus I could murder a pint, like..."
  Kit: "They've so many at the bar they're seelin' them. Get us one while you're at it."#70
• Brendan: "He got us to do his friggin' horoscope column! Us!"
  Constantine: "An unusual astral body is entering Uranus."
  Brendan: "Things look bad. The future holds cancerous growths and a rectal prolapse. Why not end it all now?"#75
• Constantine: "What was dying like?"
  Brendan: "Could've done it in my sleep."
  Constantine: "You did."
  Brendan: "There yeh are."#76
• Rick the Vic: "The good lord appreciates honesty. If you feel like an arsehole in your suit, you are quite at liberty to say so."#77
• Constantine: "You played it for her, now play it for me."
  Lounge Pianist: "eh?"
  Constantine: "Play it for me Nigel -- play 'Lick my Love Pump'"#77
• Chas (to JC after saving his arse): "...you practically had him there. I was in two minds whether or not to just let you finish him off yourself."#78
• Jo: "Are you Constantine?"
  Constantine: "Yeah."
  Jo: "You're a prick."
  Constantine: "Me secret's out then."#79

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