Kill me right now. Call the police. Firebomb my house you insignifigant microbe! Despite numerous threats, nobody beat my ass at Convergence, and I WANT MY RIGHTS dammit! I was the one who made it trendy to spam alt.gothic in the first place, I brought RC Richards here and encouraged others to follow, so I say unto ye, eternally: If trollers piss you off, there is ONE scapegoat and one only!

Yeah, you anemic non-entity, you heard me! ^^^^^ there's my phone number! My full name and address are on my website! Come and GET me if you ever cared about ANYthing at ALL EVER, fuckin'... rip me in a HUNDRED BITS and FUCK the SHARDS!!! Have you ever heard the expression "I only wish that ye all had one neck, so that I could LOP IT OFF" ?? Well it's MY NECK boy, SLICE IT NOW! I'm the EDGE of the Switchblade Symphony, I'm your GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY to indulge those vampire/serial killer fantasies you've always had, yeah I AM the source of all your suffering and ennui, I'm the NEEDLE IN THE ASS OF GOTH, I am the SACRIFICIAL GOAT OF TIME AND SPACE HEEEEEEEEEEE-YAWWW!!! Bring out the RAZOR SMILES and PUNKIN-HEAD CHAINSAWS, or whatever GOTHICS YOU MOST cause you know that gang of frat boys that mutilated your girlfriend for "dressing like a slut"? THAT's ME. I AM the phrase "you fucken weahdo" itSELF so fuckin KILL ME, you pathetic lisping half-dead hairless spawn of a PREMATURE EJACULATION, c'mon you glassy-eyed TV babies, YOU KNOW THE NUMBER...

Slash my credit rating, ruin my reputation, cancel all my email accounts, fuckin... BASH me in the haid with a SLEDGEHAMMER boy, I triple fourple super hell-dog-fuck-dare you. I AM PRESENTLY RAPING YOUR FACE! I ripped your grandmaw outta her wheelchair and fucked 'er, boy, I fuckin... ATE ALL YOUR FRIENDS boy i fuckin... KILLED YOUR WET SISTER DOG MOMMY PUSSY OFF, BBBBBBOYYYY, I'll fuckin RIP OUT YER SPINE AND CONTROL YOU WITH MY DICK!! WHOOO! Come on you "faggit", "did that hurt when you put that in?" "Whatsamattayoothinkyerafuckenvampiyah??" "My dog shaved it's ASS, and now it looks like YOU WITH THAT MAKEUP ON YOUNG LADY/MAN I CAN'T EVEN TELL WHAT YOU ARE AAAAAAAGH TENTACLES AAAAGCHKGK OOW GET IT OFF MEEEE!!!" Fuckin... c'mere you alien spacie monster possessed MANIKINS in DROVES worshipping PETER MURPHY'S ASSHOLE WORMS as they EAT THE PUSTULENT MAKE-UP FROM YOUR DISGUSTING DOG-JIZZ ENCRUSTED FACES WHILE YOUR ENTIRE BODY AND SPIRITUAL COHERENCES DETERIORATE INTO RANCID "SPAGHETTI-O'S"!!! I got a BIG GIANT PROBLEM, and it canNOT be solved, not by your momma's grand-step-pseudo-foster-moonshine-FRICASSEE cousins, a MILLION TIMES REMOVED, no that's right you gotta... grei raioh wurgph uh... AMEN!

-Thistle Damocletian, the sacrificial MEAT CHUNK SANDWICH FROM SPACE of alt dot gothic, ESQUIRE BABY, YEAH I'M TOTALLY SERIOUS, COME AND GET ME, KICK MY ASS WITH AEROPLANES. It's not as if it'd be HARD. I'm a 98 pound WEAKLING with HEART CANCER, all you'd have to do is prick me with a MICROSCOPIC PIN and I'd fuckin' EXPLODE! DO YOUR WORST! Every nail in my coffin is another ENTIRE MOUNTAIN RANGE COMPOSED OF MY DICK!