QPM: Hello?
CALLER: Helloooooooo?
QPM: Hello?
CALLER: Hellooooooo?
QPM: Yeah? What's up?
CALLER: This is Krnitzhav Grotznikov calling. Is Augoostoos there please?
QPM: Yeah, speaking.
CALLER: You are in bad news. I have some bad news for you. Are you near a phone?
QPM: Yes, I am talking to you on it.
CALLER: My advice is to you is: hang up.
QPM: WHY?
CALLER: You are not my stalker type. YOU KNOW? But this is a business call.
QPM: Okay. Is this a job offer?
CALLER: In a manner of speaking Mr. Lynch. It is time to die.
QPM: WHAT? Who is this?
CALLER: Just kidding. A little Former Soviet humor for your capitalist. I wish to inform you that the Bureau of North Soviet Indian Affairs has been very interested in your activities of late.
QPM: Speak English you communist filth! I thought we genocided you in Vietnam!
CALLER: We are electing you to Prime Minister.
QPM: WHAT? GO HOME! I DON'T WANT YOUR PRIME COMMUNIST!
CALLER: You have no choice Mr. Lynch. I think you will have to listen to what I have to say. We have bugs in your home. Big ones.
QPM: Oh yeah right. I'm gonna star sixty-nine your face off.
CALLER: You are eating a burrito right now. Now calm down or we will shoot you.
QPM: Oh... oh...
CALLER: You have five seconds to say "fong".
QPM:: Fong. Uh...
CALLER: Now. {{rest of conversation deleted for reasons of national security}}

I want to be a rock star, not some power-hungry, crease-faced drooping political hack with his balls being eaten by household pets. They can't make me Former Soviet Prime Minister without my consent. I have the Constitution of the Milky Way Galaxy on my side. I... AAAAAAAAAGH!!! DYAH! NO BAD FUCK! GET AWAY FROM ME< RR I next okay FUIOO>?PUO:{

I am a good Prime Minister. I will behavior reprogramming. Tune in next week.
no carrier